Depression Hit Me Hard

22: The Past Is Back

I sat on the floor of Luke's living room as I looked over at Emma and Damon who are both sitting on the couch, facing each other. Luke is beside me, watching them attentively. I tried to gesture to Emma to start speaking, but she won't look anywhere else except the ground. Damon is pretty much the only person who is clueless as to what is happening, and he is sitting comfortably on the sofa, shaking his legs and just...waiting.

"If only Damon could stay this calm until the end but, I don't think that's going to happen," a random thought appeared in my head but I shook it off. What's more important is getting Emma to speak up.

"So.... what's going on? Why is everyone looking at me? Come on guys what's wrong?" Damon asks, getting a little bit impatient.

"Emma's got something to tell you, but you've got to promise not to be aggressive about it or anything," Luke warned Damon. Luke is the only person who knows how physical Damon could get, especially when he is angry.

"Emma," I called out to her and gestured for her to begin when she looked at me.

At first, Luke and I were pretty confident this is going to work, since there is no adults here whatsoever. Just us four. Us and the truth that lies beneath it. Waiting to be unleashed. But now that I am here, I'll have to admit, I would rather be on my bed, watching Netflix and chilling with Luke. 

"Okay, so..." Emma started and I looked at her hopefully, but she glanced over and shut her mouth worriedly, as if she already said whatever she was supposed to.

"You know like, how everyone are just human beings and we make mistakes? Mistakes that are sometimes unforgivable but then again, this is how life works and -"

"Cut to the chase, Emma," Damon said impatiently, looking more pissed off as the seconds tick by.

"I slept with my childhood best friend, shit I'm sorry," Emma muttered as tears start rolling down her cheeks.

"Wait, what the f- Okay wait. Baby, tell me this isn't real. What's that shithead's name again? Tyler? Or was it Taylor?" Damon started to raise his voice, shaking Emma's forearm violently while she covers her tear-stained face.

"Emma what the hell is this! Why would you do something like that? Wasn't I enough? Am I not good enough? Goddamn, what is it about me that makes it easy for you to cheat on? Tell me!" Damon was practically screaming now, squeezing Emma's forearm even tighter. That's when Luke came in, telling Damon to "let her go". Damon eventually let her go and ran his fingers through his hair, realizing what he did. What was really saddening was the look on his face. His face was red but it had a certain sadness to it, and I could tell Damon was biting his lips so hard to stop himself from crying. I have never seen a guy look so hurt before that it sorts of hurt me too. 

"I'm sorry, it was during the heat of the moment. I wasn't thinking straight, I was stupid alright!" Both of them were screaming right now, I felt like I was watching a movie. Only this is reality, with no directors.

"Damn right you are! I loved you so much, and this is what you did behind my back? How could you Emma? You know what, fuck everything," Damon stood up and left. Just like that. 

Everyone was quiet. The only audible sound was Emma's crying. Luke stood up, staring dumbfoundedly at the door. I was still on the floor, with my mouth half open, full of complete utter shock. Next, it was Emma's turn to leave.

"I screwed up, but thanks for the help anyway guys," she said in a barely audible voice, and left.

Out of the blue, I felt like I couldn't breathe. My heart was racing, and my hands were trembling. I felt light-headed, but my stomach felt so upset. It was as though I was suddenly detached from my surroundings, or was I going crazy? I crawled to the corner of the room and closed my eyes. "You're going to be alright, this panic attack is going to end," I repeated softly to myself as I rocked my body back and forth. What a great timing to have a panic attack! Luke noticed my movements and went up to me slowly. "Are you okay?" he asked softly. He bent down and stroke my hair, and help me stand up slowly.