Depression Hit Me Hard

19: Lily

Ah, Monday. The day everyone wished would never come. Well what can I say? Everyone has to go through this day anyway. As usual, wake up, get ready, have breakfast, and wait for Luke to pick me up. He takes a longer time getting ready, you can tell by now he's really vain. He is self-conscious about his looks - not that I'm not, it's just that he is on a whole other level - and approximately every 5.6 seconds, he would check his hair and make sure it's in place. I'm not even exaggerating.

As I was waiting for Luke, I had a little chat with mom. We talked about Aunt Belle's fashion show and how cool it would be if we could attend it, and how funny it would be if models were to fall on the runway. As I talked to mom, I realized how much I missed Aunt Belle and Uncle Spencer. And of course, my real mom. It feels good to be able to talk to her again, and have my real mom back, instead of that woman who hated me because she thought I was a liar. Cheers for that, step dad. Aunt Belle and Uncle Spencer literally bought me everything and spoiled me, but I couldn't be more thankful. They are one of the reasons for my smile, thank god I have the best aunt and uncle!

"Hey Luke," I greeted him when I saw his presence.

"Goodmorning Ally, and Ally's mom!" Luke said in a louder tone so my mom could hear. She's busy in the kitchen anyway.

"Goodmorning Luke! Have fun in school, you two! Don't get into trouble," my mom replied and off we go.

After getting in Luke's precious vehicle, he turned on his engine and drove with one hand on the steering wheel, and the other on his lap. As usual.

"Can I ask you a question?" Luke asked, nervousness in his tone, but he tried hard to cover it up.

I was scared for a second. It was out of the blue, but I decided to go for it anyway.

"Go for it," I replied, trying to act casual so I looked out the window.

"Why do you do it?" He asked.

"Do what?" A part of me knew what he meant, but the other part just wanted to avoid.

"You know, the things you do when you're depressed," He glanced at me to make sure I was alright.

I stayed silent for a while, trying to figure out the best answer to his question.

"Pain demands to be felt. I don't want to hurt others, so I hurt myself instead." It felt pretty good to let it out, but I'm not sure how he will feel about it.

"That's exactly what Lily said," he quietly said, just enough for me to hear.

"Who's Lily?" I asked, though I'm sure I was not meant to hear what Luke just said, but I was curious.

"We'll talk about that later. Come on, let's survive this dreadful day," Luke changed the subject.

I glanced at him and saw how uneasy he was, so I didn't push him on about it. I looked out the window and realized we were already in the parking lot. Now, let's just figure out a way to survive in school without sleeping in class or getting in trouble.

It should be easy for me, I guess. I rarely get into detention, it's just that one time when Luke got me in trouble on the first day of school here.

During English period, Miss Rebecca told us to pass up our homework and put it at the front desk. As usual, a few 'shit' and 'fuck' could be heard from people's mouths since they forgot all about the homework. I passed Luke the homework and he shoved it back in my face.

"I'm not giving that, you do it," Luke retorted.

"Hell no. You do it, asshole," I frowned.

"Fine."