Depression Hit Me Hard

20: Cancelled Project

I lay down on my bed, processing everything Luke just told me. It sounded almost... impossible. To hear such things from a guy like Luke, it's as if listening to someone reading out a plot from a book. Luke may not have saved his sister, but to me, he still sounded like a hero in one way or another. I didn't want to think anymore about Luke's past, because I really did not want him to get uncomfortable sharing his previous stories when I get too curious, so I called Emma instead.

"Hey Emma," I greeted her, my phone pressed to my ears.

"Hey," she replied hesitantly.

"What's up?" I casually asked.

"I don't know, I just don't feel right."

"What about?"

"Nothing," There was an uncomfortable silence between us, and I know that nothing is right. I sighed.

"Tell me when you're ready," I told her, and just like that, I ended the call.

I spent the rest of the day on my laptop, scrolling through Tumblr and keeping myself busy. I wanted to call Luke but I sure as hell know he needed some time alone. As my eyes were glued to the screen, I heard some sounds coming from the window, as if someone is trying to get inside. I turned my head towards the window to see what it was, only to find Luke getting into my room.

"Hey," I acknowledged him and turned my head back to the screen. I didn't want to hurt his feelings by commenting some nasty stuff, especially after he just told me about his sister and his not-so-great past. Although sometimes I think he really deserves some of those.

"You should be resting. I can tell you've been having too little sleep this past few days," Luke said out of the blue, looking at my dark under eye circles.

"Wait. Why are you even in my room?" I asked, my eyebrows raised.

"I can't.."

"I can't. I can't spend another minute without thinking about you. It's crazy. I just..." He sighed.

"I need you. I need you because only you understand me, the real me, behind all this bad boy bullshit."

I stared at him in shock. Really? This guy who's eyes were full of hatred when I first came here, actually said he needed me?

I opened my mouth to say something but no words came out, so I closed them back. He sat on my bed and scooted closer to me, just staring ahead.His arm were a little bit in contact with mine, because of how close we are.

"W-what are you doing?" I asked, his touch sending electric waves in my body.

He reluctantly shifted uncomfortably, sighing. I had to admit, I was mentally upset at myself at that point. I realized his touch felt so protective. As if I don't even need to worry about anything and everything in the world. But when he moved further, it's like reality loomed over me once again.

And from there I knew it, and I have to accept the fact. I am, and I'm not going to lie, that I'm in love with this bad boy.

"Uh, I have to go," Luke awkwardly said and stood up, ready to leave.

"No, stay," I didn't know where I had the courage to say it but I'm actually thankful I did.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yeah, it's fine. My mom doesn't mind about it and besides, you'll be alone if you're in your room," I lied about my mom, I know she'll probably flip out if I told her a boy is in my room. But I don't really think she'll be too bothered, since Luke's mom is her sister's best friend.