Depression Hit Me Hard

10: Paradise For Awhile

My mom and I got into Aunt Belle and Uncle Spencer's Porsche. The colour of the Porsche is black, the shiny kind of black. Well obviously they have been doing fine since the last time I saw them, which was like I don't know, forever ago maybe? Pretty much the whole journey includes awkward silence, and thank God Aunt Belle decided to break the uncomfortable silence. I don't blame them for the silence, anyway. It's been like forever since we saw them and Uncle Spencer is driving anyway. Better safe than sorry!

"So..." Aunt Belle started.

"How's life?" She continued.

"Pretty hard, I guess. I mean like, I've just been divorced, Izabelle. What do you expect?" Mom replied to her sister and let out a heavy sigh.

"I'm sorry about that. What about you, Ally?" She glanced at me through the rearview mirror since she's sitting at the passenger seat - which is beside the driver seat.

"Same as mom. High School's tough back in America. I don't even know if I can cope here. Let alone fit in!" I gasped quietly as I imagined the students here.

Will they bully me next year since I'm the new kid? Come on, I'm 16, not 6! It's 14th of December, the year 2013 if you're wondering.

"Well, in Britain, or Brighton to be exact, the school you will be going to is called a Secondary School. Aunt Belle will send you there on your first day of school, don't worry of getting lost or going to the wrong school," Uncle Spencer joined in the conversation and chuckled at the thought of me getting lost.

I raised an eyebrow. Secondary school? Is that like High school? Do they have uniforms? I hope not. I can't bear using any more uniforms. I just want to come to school dressed normally! Can that ever happen? Argh.

Finally, we reached Aunt Belle and Uncle Spencer's house. No, 'house' is probably not the correct word to use here, it's a freaking mansion. With quite a huge swimming pool. Who am I kidding?

It's a freaking mansion! Maybe my life is starting to get better? God knows.

I got my own room and mom got her own. Mom's room is opposite of mine. When I got in, I was immediately greeted by a huge splash of pink - and a little white. My room is huge, more like the size of the living room in my house - or apartment - back in America. The bed sheets are covered in floral design. The room is completed with a long study table - a MacBook pro and school books placed neatly alongside a pencil holder filled with stationaries on the table. There are curtains, a cute pink office chair placed near the study table, a huge walk-in closet, a white fluffy carpet on the floor, white-coloured cupboards, a bookshelf filled with teenage fiction books. There's also a makeup table with a lighted mirror, and in the drawers it was filled with a lot of makeup items from concealers to makeup palettes and all you can imagine! On the table itself it was pretty neat, with a transparent glass container filled with brand new makeup brushes. What more can I ask for? Everything in here is brand new! It's a room any female teenager would want! And did I mention I got a queen-sized bed? I stood near the door with my jaw dropping like all the way to the ground. I must've stood there a little too long, because out of the blue, Aunt Belle stood beside me.

"What's the problem, Ally? Do you like your new room? I'm sorry I got too carried away at designing the room. You know, I don't have any kids and I was too excited when I got to know -" Aunt Belle said before I started to interrupt her.

"Are you kidding me? This is practically any female teenagers' dream room! Omg thanks so much Aunt Belle! You're the best!" I said in an excited tone and threw my arms around her. Or in other words, hug her. Hey, I bet you'd be amazed too! The room's cool okay.

"Glad you liked it! The walk-in closet has brand new clothes, pants, jeans, shoes, heels, accessories and all that stuff inside. In the left cupboard, there is a Polaroid camera and 18 packets of films for you to take pictures and decorate around your room, especially over there," she pointed to a plain pink-coloured wall with a disgusted look on her face.

"Before I go, the school books are on your study table. Perhaps you want to take a look? You'll be in Secondary 5 next year. It's filled with 17 year olds and I know you're going to be 17 next year. Well, at least it's better than being in Secondary 1! It's filled with 13 year olds. Your new school considered to put you in Secondary 1 at another school but somehow I managed to get them to place you in Secondary 5. That's the best I can do. Oh, your school essentials is in the right cupboard," she continued.

"School essentials?" I raised an eyebrow, still standing near the door with Aunt Belle.

"Your school bag, pencil case, files and all that, silly!" She replied and giggled, leaving me alone after saying she wanted to prepare dinner.

I walked slowly into the room. I looked at the wall clock to see the time. It is circular, pink-coloured and decorated with white intricate designs. 7.30PM? I can't believe it's already 7! What a day.

I unpacked my pink suitcase, only to realize I did not have much with me. Most had been thrown since I can't fit a lot of things inside my suitcase. The first thing I took out was a picture of my real family. It's already framed so I placed it at my small bedside table. I don't bother to keep any pictures with my stepdad in it. I don't even know if I ever took pictures with him! And God knows where the hell he is now. That selfish bastard, always expecting more than he ever gives.

"Oh father, Please father. I'd love to leave you alone. But I can't let you go," I sang quietly to Demi Lovato's song as I unpack my other stuffs. I may be 16, but I still yearn for a father's love. After unpacking, I went for a quick shower and went to the walk-in closet to get a set of pyjamas. My old clothes are probably too small anyway. I got dressed in my pyjamas and can't stand it and eventually check out the whole things in there. I saw a few sets of clothing which are definitely uniforms. Oh no. On the bright side, I don't have to live in the same room as my mom, right?

"Dinner's ready! Sorry if I was taking too long," Aunt Belle called out.

I stepped out of my fancy new room and made my way downstairs and sat down on the fancy-ass chair at the dining table, not surprised that I was the first one to get here. I was hungry, don't judge. As Aunt Belle prepared dinner, I hear her humming to Always On My Mind by Elvis Presley. I listened as she continued to prepare and stopped when she finished preparing. I was pretty disappointed when I realized she stop humming. Her voice is pretty beautiful, to be honest. I guess I was too hooked on her humming that I didn't realize Uncle Spencer and mom was already seated around the dining table as well.

"Fancy house you got there, Izabelle..." my mom told Aunt Belle.

"...And fancy pyjamas you got there, Ally." She turned to look at me.

"I saw it in the walk-in closet I got in my room, mom. All my clothes are getting smaller and I'm growing, if you haven't noticed," I replied casually.

"Oh right."

Yes, mom. 'Oh right' is definitely the correct way to reply me. If only you cared for me back then to actually get me new clothes!

"What are all of you waiting for? Let's eat!" Aunt Belle interrupted.

I'm glad, actually. Glad to have at least someone who cared to get me new clothes and a whole room with brand new stuff including a brand new laptop! Oh my gosh, am I dreaming? Certainly not. There's school, and in dreams there's no school. 14th of December, everything's going to change from today onwards. I'm excited already, and a little nervous. All because I remembered I have scars. What are Aunt Belle and Uncle Spencer's reactions going to be? Will they think I'm stupid? I sighed at that thought and continued eating.

"Everything alright?" Uncle Spencer asked.

"Everything's fine," I reassured him but deep down, of course nothing is alright.