Depression Hit Me Hard

3: Stepdad

"Ally, hold up," Miss Josephine called up to me after the bell rings, signaling school is finally over after a long tiring day.

Miss Josephine is the only teacher in my school that is actually kind and gorgeous, both inside and out. Her dark green eyes match perfectly with her beautiful face. She's all natural. By natural I meant she rarely wears makeup and boys are already drooling over her. She's young, which explains her fun behavior towards teaching, unlike other boring teachers.

"What's up?" I asked casually, but the tone of my voice says otherwise.

"You've been different lately. Those dark circles under your eyes, I know you are trying hard to cover them with powder but they are still visible," Miss Josephine tried saying calmly, but with a hint of worriedness in it.

"I'm fine Miss -", I replied before getting cut off.

"I've been a teenager once, Ally. Tell me, is something bothering you?" She asked, sympathy filling her perfect round eyes.

"There's just some things bothering me. I wish I could go to school for six hours daily and then come home and actually have time to live my life. I don't want deadlines and assignments looming over me every day. I'm tired, Miss Josephine. Not only that, I have to deal with my mom and my stepdad who is constantly nagging at me. My stepdad hated me ever since I was at his sight. He even convinced my mom that I was a liar. I don't get why he would do such a thing, messing me even more when he knows how terribly messed up I already am. It doesn't matter if I was her flesh and blood. My mom, she, only trusts her stupid new husband," I finally let it out, blinking away my tears.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Ally. If you have anything to ask me feel free to do so, let it all out my dear. I will listen," she said with a faint smile plastered on her face.

So afterwards I left school and headed home. I went straight into my room and I locked the door. I ignored all the text messages I received from Miss Josephine, Brienna and Mason. I just wanted to leave this world for a little while. I know I never mentioned anything about my parents, about how cruel my stepdad is because of the fact that he ruined me too much. It hurts but this is just the way of life, you know. I never knew having a stepdad was this bad, like as if it made my life better when in reality, making it worse. Mom, what were you thinking? I felt so retarded getting excited and thinking about my stepdad when I was 11, how he would look like and all that. Five years ago I thought my life would be complete after he arrived, but now, at sixteen, I realized I don't even need him. Not at all for sure. To keep myself busy, I decorated my wrists, stomach and thighs with a few more scars.

Sometimes I wonder, does anyone actually knew about my scars? Perhaps they are too busy with their own lives to care anyway.

"Ally, dinner's ready!" my mom screamed, more like the sound of thunder in my opinion. I glanced at my iPhone. 36 messages. Who cares. I threw my iPhone in my bed and ate dinner silently, trying my best to not say a word. This has been going on for some time though, so it's not of a big deal.

"How's school?" my stepdad asked in a heavenly tone, obviously putting up a good attitude in front of my mom. Shit. What am I supposed to say? I really hate him for sure, there's no way I could possibly have a decent conversation with him without having to scream or something.

"School's fine, it's none of your business anyway. Not like you need to know," the words slipped out of my mouth before I could manage to think twice.

Uh-oh.

"Ally! Can you at least speak nicely to your father?" my mom snapped.

Oh please, he's not even my real father.

"Whatever," I muttered under my breath, making sure that no one could hear.

"Its fine Margaret, she's probably stressed about school. Besides it's her first year in High School, not to mention her school even forced students to wear uniforms making them feel uncomfortable. Isn't it right Ally?" My stepdad asked, making me feel like I am the bad guy here.

I nodded forcely and then finished up my dinner as fast as I could before bathing. I know, with my two-faced stepdad all of you would think why the heck am I rude to him. Here's what happened. Well last year I saw him with another woman holding hands and kissing. I had just finished school and Brienna and I decided to go to the mall.

Oh um, did I mention Brienna was my friend ever since we were 4 years old?

That's where I saw my stepdad and his other girlfriend. That two-timer biatch! He saw me staring away in disbelief at him and he got a little uneasy so he decided to leave with his girlfriend. Turns out the name of his girlfriend is Wendy. That night when I was in my own room he came in and slapped me hard in the face like the crazy mofo he already is. It doesn't make sense, really! Like, what did I even do to deserve this?

"What the hell were you doing at the mall? Better not tell your mom about this, or else you'll know what kind of trouble you'll be getting in," he screamed in my ear, with flames in his eyes.

"A-a-about what?" I stammered, trying to let everything sink in. It's happening way too fast!

"Oh don't you act innocent you little fool. If I ever caught you telling mom about me and Wendy, you better watch out," he continued screaming and stomped off.

Well then what the hell were you doing with another woman, you cheater?

So basically I stood still in my room like a paralyzed girl. Then, I took my penknife and did the unthinkable. The first time I actually use a penknife instead of the usual staples. One slash on the wrist, two, three, and a whole lot more. I felt better. If this is going to help me cope then I'm going to continue.

I so didn't expect that coming from him, a guy who I considered calling him dad, but now I just call him David. Hell no am I respecting that bastard ever again after what he did. Every day till now I have this urge to tell my mom but I'm worried about how she may react to it. Ugh. Obviously she would defend him, don't matter if I'm her only child.

Basically to sum my life, I have a friend who has a boyfriend which turned out to be my crush's best friend, I have unreasonable parents who hated me more than Squidward hates Spongebob, I have a weird school that requires me to wear disgusting clothing ( We are in High School, not Kindergarten for God's sake ) and other than that, nothing fun actually happens in my life. Not yet I guess. Or never.