Can I Not?

Names and Labels //Rant Warning

I can't hold this in anymore, I absolutely cannot stand this.

I hate being called names and being labeled, I always have, mainly since that was how I was bullied when I was younger.
I can't stand it when others are as well.

In all honesty, it's actually a trigger to me, and I can't control it.

Even now, I'm not called anything in public, it's in my house that it bothers me so much.

The biggest label I'm given is "emo", and this is all because I wear black. I am not lying when I say a lot of people understand my frustration with this.

I like black. Black is one of my favored colors. I like how it looks on me. I am not emo because I wear it. I prefer to wear dark colors.

I should not be labeled for wearing a simple article of clothing. Especially in my own place of comfort.

What am I saying, I don't even feel comfortable in my own room, let alone the house.

I feel even worse being labeled that, and no matter how many times I say no, it always comes back.

Okay, yes, I do get depressed, I listen to "weird screamo music" (please take no offense to this, I'm quoting my mom here), I wear black. BUT WHERE DOES ME BEING EMO FALL INTO THIS? How am I emo just because I am wearing a fucking black shirt and a black jacket????

If this didn't irritate me and make me anxious, I absolutely hate being called names. And most of the time, I do nothing to even be called them.

Yeah, sometimes I'll push past the line (I have a bad problem with "stopping", I'll admit it), but I usually do what I do out of fear, because of the punishment I received when I was younger.

And because I'm defending myself out of blatant fear, where is the idea you get to even call me a shithead? Bitch? Fucker?

I don't understand this anymore.

Does it fucking slip out because it's NATURAL?
Is there a hidden purpose that I can't comprehend?
Is there a fucking right given to someone to even call/label me this?

I am just done with this, and I'm going to just try to calm down.