"How are feeling today, Sarah?" Willow asks me.
"Better. Much better," I say.
The therapy treatments this hospital has put me on has helped me a lot, but the guys and I have done more. They would bring in books or magazines or whatever they could find for me to read aloud to them. They had me write things down so that I wouldn't have trouble writing again.
I'm much stronger now too. I can move like I had before the accident. Speaking of the accident..
"Willow, where's my brother?" She freezes and her faces drops and turns to stone.
"Willow, tell me. Now. Please," I say even though I know it's bad news. Tears threaten my eyes already.
"Sarah, I-" she starts, but abruptly stops when my body starts to shake.
"I want to see him. Take me to him," I demand.
"Sarah, that's.." Dan says quietly.
"Tell me where the hell my brother is!" I demand, my voice cracking from the tears. A few other nurses and doctors standing by crowd the door that is my room.
"Sarah, I'm sorry," Willow says so quietly it's barely a whisper, but it's so loud to me. Her eyes are already brimming with tears.
"You can't take me to my brother?!" I say furiously.
"No," she says, sobbing.
"Why the fuck not?!" I ask, even though I know I'm only going to put myself through hell.
"He-he's, he's passed away," Dan quietly tells me.
No. Not my brother. Not my loving, warmhearted brother. He wouldn't hurt a fly. His tough demeanor told you otherwise, but he was such a kind hearted man. He was my life line for a long time. Even though I would hate him sometimes, I love him to pieces and I would do anything for him. Why does he have to go? Why can't it be me? Even better, why couldn't both of us survive? Why can't he be stood next to me right now?!
"No," I sob, my body violently shaking and my knees giving out. Dan catches me before I crash onto the floor. He gently sits me down, his arms wrapped around me tightly. His breathing is ragged from crying. I hear sobs all around me. People I don't even know are crying.
"Why?!" I scream into Dan's shoulder.
I want my brother here. I want my brother to walk through that door and hold me tight like he's never going to let go. I want him to sit next to me on the ride home, holding my hand. I want to see him cooking some new dish he found on the Internet or his girlfriend gave him. I want to hear the light snores coming from the bedroom across the hall in his flat.
I stop crying suddenly. I look up from Dan's tear soaked shoulder. "When?" I quietly ask.
Dana's jaw is set and his eyes are red and puffy and looking at me with so much sorrow. I look up Willow.
"When?" I say and little louder.
"The day after the accident," she says, not looking into my eyes. I wouldn't want to look into my eyes either. I probably look horrifying. Tear stained face, red and puffy eyes, sounding like a complete bitch, demanding answers.
I go into hysterics again. Sobs shaking my body. My wild screams filling every hallway of this damned hospital. I want to get out of here. I can't be here anymore.
I stand up and with all my strength I walk out of the hospital.
"Sarah, hold on. Wait, where are you going?" Dan calls after me. I hear everybody following me. Tears still sting my eyes as I fumble around the corridors.
"Sarah!" Dan calls after me again. "Stop! You'll hurt yourself!" I ignore him, I'm not going to stop until I'm far away from here.
I can't believe this. I can't believe any of this happened. Why didn't that car stop? They couldn't see that the light had changed? Couldn't they see all of the other cars stopped? Why the fuck did it have to be us?! Why?! I cannot think anymore. I just want my brother back. I want to see all of his shirt brown hair, blue eyes, tall and lanky figure. I want to hear the dorky laugh he has. I want all of it back. But I'm not going to have it all back. Why didn't anyone tell me? Even if they thought I couldn't hear them while I was in the coma they still could have told me when I woke up!
I find myself inside Louis' flat, standing in the middle of the living room. I look around frozen. Everything is right where he had left it when we left for our parents' Halloween party. A few jackets here or there, films and books lining the wall since he didn't have a bookcase for them, the couch still slightly askew from when he dropped his phone down the back between the wall and the couch, right before we left. I don't want to touch anything. I don't want to change anything because it's all like the way it was before he was taken. I don't really want to sit either. Sitting without him on his couch seems unrealistic.
I start to sob again, thinking about everything we've done together in this flat so far.
