(1D) Saw ; The Beginning

( ZM )

Zayn Malik ;

"You better fucking tell him Luke," I pushed him against the side of the tour bus. I couldn't take it anymore. The guilt was eating me up. "I-I don't know how much longer I can do this!"

"Ahh! I-I will I-I swear!" Luke grunted from the pain.

"Tonight! You're coming with me--" I growled.

"What??" he gulped getting red in the face. "Zayn I-I can't do that--"

"To hell you aren't! I'll drag you to that pub myself if you don't tell him!"

Three months. Luke and Eleanor have been slagging around behind Lou's back for three months, and I couldn't take it anymore. The guilt of keeping it from Lou, my best mate, was way too much of a burden. I've lied to Lou's face for those two and for what?

I didn't get it. Eleanor claims she loves Louis, but she doesn't. How could she? I can see it. The look in her eyes when she's with Luke. Her whole demeanor changes, and for the better too. She's cheeky, genuine, happy. Whenever she's with Lou she's a completely different person. Why didn't she just spare him the embarrassment? If she didn't love Lou why didn't she just end it? So maybe he could find someone who actually does love him.

Three months. Three months of keeping this inside to prevent everyone else from breaking and now, it was starting to break me. The worst part was, Lou didn't even suspect anything and it was all my fault. Lou trusts me, with his life, and he with mine. Luke needed to tell to him, and he needed to tell him now.

"Zayn stop!" Luke coughed. "You know Lou loves her more than anything, why would you want me to hurt him like that?"

"Are you fucking kidding me??" I scoffed. "You're slagging around with his girlfriend, claim to love her, but you're gonna give me shit for wanting to hurt him?? Fuck you Luke! I should tell him myself--"

"You won't," he stammered out of breath. "You won't because then what's going to happen when he finds out that you knew you about it all this time and didn't say anything--"

"Don't fucking threaten me!"

I punched him in the face as hard as I could, not even giving it a second thought. Then, I kneed him in the stomach as he fell to the floor. He was right. If Lou knew that I knew about it and didn't tell him, he was for sure resent me for who knows how long.

"Fuck..." Luke groaned on all fours. "Please..."

"Woah, what's going on?" Niall's voice called from some distance away.

I looked back to see him running towards us, thankfully by himself. His eyes shifted between Luke and I, trying to put a scenario together in his head.

"Zayn??" Niall looked up at me, knelt down by Luke to try and help him up.

"I-I'm fine Ni," Luke coughed, staggering to his feet and holding his stomach. "I-I just fell..."

"Yeah," I added. "You know how much of a fucking klutz he is--"

Niall eyed me suspiciously. What was his deal? He shook his head as he glared at me with a hateful demeanor.

"What's with you lately?" Ni gawked at me. "Why are you being so different?"

"What??" I glared at him. What does everybody keep saying that?

"Zayn you've been so, different lately, and no one knows why," he went on. "What's with you? Huh? You used to be so open with everyone but," he looked back at Luke. "Now it's like he's the only person you ever hang out with."

"Th-that's not true," I tried but he was right. Luke was the only one I've been hanging out with lately, but because I didn't want to feel the guilt.

"Zayn I miss you," Ni's eyes started to gloss over.

Have I really been acting that strangely lately? Damn. This whole time I've been trying to save myself the guilt, but I guess in the process I've also been cutting them out. It's not like I meant to, I just, didn't want to get caught up in a lie or something. Damn it.

"Alright guys, let's  head out!" Liam laughed excitedly, coming into the scene with Haz and Lou. "This is much needed after a long days work--" he froze, looking at everyone for a moment and realizing something was going on. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I immediately mumbled.

I threw my hood over my head, slid my hands down into my pockets, and walked onto the tour bus, trying to avoid that conversation.