I Want to be a Hero {KH Romance}

I Want to be a Hero (Chp. 23)

            I wake abruptly to a door slamming. My eyes glance to the clock. It's nearly midnight. How long had Sora been with Donald? How long had I been asleep.

            "What's wrong?" Sora glances over me before turning away. His eyes were surrounded by red rings. Had he been crying? I rise from the couch and place a hand on his shoulder. "Sora... what happened?" He takes a sharp breath before turning to face me.

            "Donald wanted to talk to me... about us." I feel myself tense and his eyes fall back to the floor. "He.. thinks that by making such a big connection, we're technically... interfering with other worlds." I step back and feel my legs get out, I land on the sofa and Sora covers his mouth for a moment, before clearing his throat and starting again. " He thinks... that the results would be more... would be less interruptive.."

            "Please don't." My words sound so small, even in a room that's not very big.

            "Rea.." He looks up at me, and I try so desperately to make him see how much this will break me. "This entire time, I've been doing everything wrong.. I've been helping the people who are causing the issues.." He runs a hand through his hair. "I can't continue to keep destroying things. I told you that I wasn't the kind of person who set people up to hurt.. but what's going to happen when we've done everything? When we've saved everyone?" He swallows and I shake my head, feeling tears fall. "I can't ask you to stay with me when we're worlds apart. You can't come with me, because your home is somewhere else. I'm setting us both up to get hurt." I stand up and he remains still "It's better that I do this now before you--"

            "Before I WHAT? Fall in love with you? Before I become too attached?" My voice cracks, and I'm beginning to realize that I don't sound so small at all. "Before I lay all my cards out on the table and give you everything?"

            "Rea..."

            "You're too fucking late, it'll break me no matter what." I clench my fists as he continues to stare. "I spent so much time idolizing you, putting so much effort into holding everything back for your sake and I'm so tired of it. I came all this way, I was so happy, so god damned in love with you and you're going to break down everything because of someone else's words..." He goes to open his mouth and I shake my head "... that's not fixing anything. That's running away."

            "... We can... still be friends." I let out a laugh in spite.

            "That would be too big of a bond. Apparently on this ship, we're just going to cut ties after everything. We tell each other that we're going to be best fucking friends just so we can tear each other down when it's time to go home. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to set up that sort of relationship, I'm done trying to pretend that I'm okay. I'm not okay with this, I'm not okay with pretending I don't love you, and I'm not going to be okay with acting like I'm not bothered with Donald's actions and consequences."

            "Rea, stop saying that."

            "Stop saying WHAT?"

            "STOP SAYING YOU LOVE ME." I stop breathing for a moment as a tear falls down his face. He angrily wipes it away and shakes his head "I can't deal with this. I can't do this now. Just... go to bed."

            "...fine." I brush past him and head out the door, heading to the bathroom and locking the door behind me. I don't even bother to turn the lights on before I just collapse to the floor.

            Fuck him. Fuck him for making me like him. Fuck me for liking him. Fuck him for returning the affection. Fuck him for building me up. Fuck him for breaking it down. Fuck him for telling me how important I was. Fuck him for listening to Donald tell him why I shouldn't be. Fuck Maleficent for getting me into this fucking mess. Fuck me for falling for it. Fuck me for falling for him. Fuck me for admitting to it. Fuck him for telling me I cant say it. Fuck me for hiding in the bathroom again. Fuck him for not caring. Fuck him for kind of caring. Fuck me for really caring. Fuck this bathroom.