Sugar Coat Me (Amazing Spider man Fan Fic)

Chapter Twenty

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Marilyn

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Why, universe? Why do I have to suffer? Yeah, I was mean, but so were Blue, Gina, Derrick, Sean, Eric...everyone was! Not only me. Why am I the only one suffering.

I know this sounds selfish but it's how I'm feeling. I don't know...I just want Gina's costume party to get crashed by the police or have Derrick to get into a car accident that breaks his arm. Nothing too major. Oh, God. That still sounds terrible.

The way I talked to Jayson last week has been killing me! I can not believe I said those things. Everyone's right. I only care about my feelings. I act more on my Id than my ego or superego. I seriously don't give a shit about how other people feel. But seeing Jayson look so hurt broke my heart. Yeah, at first I talked to him only because I knew Blue had an interest. But as time went by and I got to know Jayson, I ended up really liking him. I still really like him. Hasn't he seen that I'm serious now? That he means so much to me? The me I was a few months ago would dumped Jayson's ass after having screwed him over a little.  I wouldn't have gone out of my way to make sure he was okay and I sure as hell wouldn't have stood up for him when my friends ganged up against him.

"Are you going to eat that?" Carrie asks, pointing at my meatballs on my plate.

I inhale their smell hat would've made m stomach rumble and shake my head. Carrie grins and eagerly reaches over the table with her fork.

"Carrie, sit down!" Dad orders. "Marilyn, pass the meat balls to her. God, you know better."

Trying not to roll my eyes and draw attention to myself, I push my chair back quietly, get up and push my plate to Carrie.

"Hey, Caaaarrie..." Jacob wiggles his bushy, brown eyebrows at her.

She snorts.

"Go away," she says before devouring the delicious, family famous meat balls.

"Wha-wait!" Jacob exclaims. "Marilyn? Tell her to share."

"Marilyn, you're friends will come around," Dad says out of no where. I pretend I don't hear him and roll my fork in my spaghetti. I watch as the strings curl around my fork.

"Really! Not now," Mom says stern, but calm. I want to thank her so much.

"But they will," Dad pushes.

I clear my throat. It's about to get ugly. Mom and dad always fight. Like, all the freaking time when they're together, which isn't very often but it sucks. They kind of remind me of Carrie and I, except with them, it's sad.

"May I be excused?" Without an answer, I already start to get up. I just need to get out of this house. In being suffocated. Mom is sitting down in dad's house at the table with us and the tension is surreal.

"No...no," Mom says. I look at her.

"Sit down," Dad orders in his police voice. "We're eating as a family for the first time since...a while. You are part of this family. Do not walk away."

I'm tempted but as you all know, I'm trying to be better now. I'm trying to change. Seems impossible, right? Who knew being good was so hard?

"Why do you use that voice with our kids, Jeff. They're not criminals for Christ sakes, you are not 'on the job'."

I sit down. This time without the groans and complaints. No nasty attitudes or talking back. I just sit back down. Obediently. Didn't know I had it in me.

"You're such a terd, Marilyn." Jacob scratches his head and then licks foods off his fingers. Ew. "I really wanted those meatballs."

"Jacob!" Mom groans, averting her eyes from dad's glare.