All In My Head

Hold. Back. The. Ego.

That was the first ever time I was genuinely confused and furious. My mum burst into tears when she told me. I did too. Not because of what she told me - but because I can't stand to see my mum cry. It hurts me the most when someone upsets my mum. I never would let them get away with it but this time, I simply have no choice.

I couldn't concentrate in school. I kept on thinking about the conversation that I and my mum had yesterday. The image of the letter my mum had pressed in her hand didn't want to leave my head. My form tutor kept me behind after registration.

"You've not been concentrating in lessons. Is there something wrong? Maybe something has happened at home? Take a seat and let's talk about it."

I slumped in my chair. His voice wasn't loud, but in fact soothing and calm. He kept on asking me questions till he finally stopped, seeing my blank response. My head was down, as always because I'm afraid to make eye contact. We sat in silence until his sigh broke the calm atmosphere. Thoughts were crossing my mind over and over again. Tell him Amelia, and the more you reveal, the less burden you will have, I thought.

I took a deep breath and spilled out everything. "A letter came yesterday. It was from the hospital. It said that my brother had cancer. He only has a few weeks left." I felt a lump rising in my throat. I swallowed but I couldn't stop it. I exploded into tears.

He dismissed me without saying a word. It looked like he was about to cry too. My Form Tutor had always been a soft hearted person.

That evening, I just had a huge reality check. In the 'real world', stupid things like crushes don't matter. I guess that each time you open up to someone, you discover something new about yourself. Ethan doesn't really matter to me anymore. I've realised that boys come and go but friends don't. I would never sacrifice SUCH a great friendship with my BFF. I guess it's just me and Melody now, since Ariana hasn't bothered to turn up to school for the last month. Now that I've just left my ego behind, I can sincerely help Melody get on track with Ethan.

In music, I made Melody go to the piano next to Ethan so they can talk to each other. I told her to ask him to show him what he can play and play together. They were playing and their hands touched! Mr. Marty had to ruin their moment when he called Melody for a progress check. Diana Miller (the biggest flirt I have ever met) walked up to Melody's piano and adjusted the headphones to her size.

"Sorry Diana, but that's Melody's place!" Ethan whispered.

She promptly moved away, with a red face. OMG! When Melody came back, Ethan asked Melody for her number! I am SUPER excited for her!!!!!!!!