All In My Head

Wake Me Up

I run out wearing blue ripped denim high waisted shorts and a black shirt. I charge down the stairs to the welcoming smell of chocolate. Instead of heading to the kitchen, I run into the living room to find Matt playing some video game on the PS4 and was screaming at the virtual character that couldn't see or hear him.

But my eyes darted past all that. There he was. Sitting next to my brother. The sunlight shining over his dimple in his left cheek when he smiled at me and mesmerised me. We lock eyes. In that moment I knew everything. I knew something. But at the same time I knew nothing at all. Ethan looked so perfect. I wish I could just capture that instant in time and treasure it forever.

But everything ends at some point.

Ethan starts moaning and my brother breaks into a series of bold giggles.

'I won. I OWN YA SON!' my brother began shouting at my boyfriend. Boyfriend. I like that. I let the word roll around me for a while Just the thought of that made me warm up inside. I hadn't said that in a long time. Ethan stands up and falls to his knees in the centre of the living room and fake cries. Then he starts to chuck all the controllers at the TV while laughing insanely. My brother was laughing too. He looked nice when he smiled. My brother, I mean. I hadn't seen that in a long time. I am sure now that Ethan would help breathe me back to life. He re-registers my presence and sashays towards me and stands a couple centimetres opposite me. He turns around to see my brother grinning like a spastic and just stuffs his hands in the pockets of his jeans. What a shame.

'Hey baby, how'd you sleep?'

'Great', I mumble smiling almost as hard as my brother. 'What happened last night?'

'You don't remember?' He asks, curving his lips up into a devilish smirk.

'Well I remember you holding my hair out my face while I puked into oblivion. But apart from that...'

'Don't worry about it, babe.'

'So my mum didn't like threaten to murder you when you came in carrying me?' I hoped that his answer was no.

'Well, let's just say we got off to a rough start. But it's all good now.'

That's probably true – I mean Ethan can sweet talk anyone into selling their heart to them. I mean, he already has mine.

'Breakfast?' I ask while almost instantaneously my brother skid past me in a blur, sending me spinning like a tornado. Ethan reaches out to steady me just in time and we both lock eyes and fall into overpowering laughter.

We walk into the kitchen and my mum gesture for Ethan to sit on one of the seats at the long island.

'Salutations mother. May I request your presence in out into the lovely patio; where we shall discuss the likes of sunflowers and the intricacy and detail of their petals?'

She looked at me as if she smelt a fart. Was she disgusted or just lost? She followed me out anyway.

'Are you nuts? So you think that you can turn up drunk at my house two hours after the set curfew, cradled in a random guy's arms and then he sleeps in your bed and the response from the daughter that I've struggled to raise on my own is Shakespeare with an attitude and a hangover? Jeez! There's really no appreciation or hope for you kids. I do so much and...'

She trails off. She was unable to control her laughter. My heartbeat started to gain control before it jumped right out of me and danced right across the room. Thank god!

'So you're not mad? I mean you wouldn't be any way since you were okay with me staying over at Ethan's house overnight and...' Curse my naivety.

'WHAT? YOU WERE AT A BOY'S HOUSE OVERNIGHT?' she was fuming.

'Mum, I can explain-'

'The fact that you have started lying to me is the worst thing. I thought we had that trust between each other. No secrets remember? And then all of a sudden you meet Ethan now it's a 'good girl gone bad' situation. The guy's arms are full of tattoos and he desperately needs a haircut. He could be a drug dealer for all you know. And I was talking to Melody when I asked her if you were with her last night and she told me you were with HIM and he is bad news. Ame, he went TO JAIL! I mean, you never stayed out late nights or anything and you never drank much so to turn up on my doorstep unconscious is a whole new level. Amelia-'

Her gaze is fixed on something behind me and she just sighs and walks back into the kitchen.

From the corner of my eye I noticed a figure shaped like Ethan. My heart dropped in its chest.

'I'M SO SORRY-'

'It's okay. I understand; don't worry about it'.

I couldn't say anything. What was left to say?

'Let's go.' He motioned back towards the kitchen.

Breakfast went by in bitter silence. It was like the cold war shooting back and forth between me and my mum. Matt sparked several conversations with Ethan and he replied with caution as he was aware of the presence of someone who despised him very much. I couldn't take it anymore. Iran to my room and slammed the door behind me and flopped onto my bed. I heard footsteps following me up the stairs followed by rapid knocks on the door and silent whispers.

I closed my eyes.