All In My Head

Gravity

I wait a second in the bitter heat to compose myself. I wait until my breathing becomes normal again and swallow my tears. I start counting to 10 and I get to 4 before I see Ethan rushing towards me. He pulls me towards him and holds me in his embrace. I just close my eyes.

What did I do?

I just let her go. I didn't even stop her. I thought she was my friend. Flashbacks from That Night play over and over again in my mind, each time getting more blurry. Melody. Ariana. And now Beth. Sabrina's probably had enough of me by now too.

I'm all by myself.

Apart from Ethan. He's the only one that cares for me. He's the only one that ever did. Everyone else was just for their selfish needs and never really thought about me. I don't need the anymore.

Ethan pulls away and is saying something but I can't follow what he says and just can't form sentences. I don't say anything on the way back into Nando's. We sit in silence for a while.

'Do you want something to drink?' Ethan asks.

'Sure' I mumble, slowly coming back to my senses.

He orders us both Sagres Beer. It bubbles and fizzes down my throat. Ethan reaches over and places his hand on mine.

'Are you okay? Do you want to talk about what happened out there?'

'I don't think I want to.' I whisper. 'Hey. Could I get another beer?'

He smirks at me like a puppy that just got a million treats.

'Sure baby'.

I don't know why I said that. But I find myself drinking beer after beer. The waiter was flirting with the waitress. I'd expect Nando's to be a little more professional. I think me and Ethan finally generated some small talk.

I ordered more beers.

I don't remember much about what happened after that.

----------------------------------------------------

I wake up and feel like I'm dying. Literally. My head was throbbing so hard and my throat felt so dry and sore. What else could be happening to me? I roll over to see Ethan lying in my bed scrolling through something on his phone. I look around. This was my bedroom for sure. This was my bed. I'm wearing different clothes from last night – a shirt that said 'NOT A LOT GOING ON' and black leggings. My vision goes fuzzy for a split second. If this is a dream I'm really sure I don't want to wake up and I'm pretty sure the only way to do that is to play along.

'Hey baby. How'd you sleep?' Ethan asks, glowing as soon as he sees that I'm awake.

Hold on. Ethan Tyler is in my room. I start to think about my mum and Matt and if they saw him but that might wake me up and so I push it away. Nothing can stop this burning desire to be with him. Nothing at all.

Well maybe my hangover might. I rub my temples and close my eyes. Ethan wraps his arms around my torso and pulls me towards him. Before I know it, my head lolls into his shoulder and I fall asleep in his arms once more.

----------------------------------------------------

I wake up the second time to find Ethan gone. I sit up and look around. He wasn't even in the room. What was the time? 17:38? That must be wrong. My clock is always wrong thanks to Matt constantly playing with it. I grab my phone from my bedside table. 12:31pm. Phew! As I attempt to get off my bed my leg gets tangled in the covers and I fall with a thump onto the floor, making my head hurt even worse. The story of my life, right? I mean the day I wake up without falling off my bed and my morning is perfectly normal; I will eat dog food for the rest of my life from that moment. I run to the bathroom glancing to see if Ethan was in Matt's or my mum's bedroom along the way. Wait, why would he be there anyway? As I let the warm shower steam me back to life, I try to recollect my thoughts and remember what happened last night.

It was probably 12:30 in the morning and Ethan suggested we should make our way home. I don't remember the conversations we had in the car but I remember we pulled up like 1 or 2 streets from my house. And then. I. Started. To. Sing.

'I can't wait till I get you on the floor, good looking. Going out so hot, just like an oven. And I'll burn myself, but just had to touch it. It's so fire and it's all mine. Hey baby, we don't mind all the watching; cause if they study close, real close they might learn something. He ain't nothing but a little doozy when he does it.
You're so fire tonight.
Stop, let me get a good look at you. So fly never know why, oh you fancy. It's so sick and you get me hooked like a habit. But it's alright cause you're all mine. Go on and show 'em who I call daddy.. I guess they're just mad cause they just wish they had
it. My killer, my thriller, yeah you're a classic. And you're all mine tonight
And as long as you've got your suit and tie
Imma leave it all on the floor tonight
And you got fixed up to the nines
Let me show you a few things
All pressed up in black and white
And I'm dressed in that dress you like
Love is swinging in the air tonight
Let me show you a few things
Show you a few things about love
While we're in the swing of love
Let me show you a few things, Show you a few things about
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love yea yeah

Ain't nobody love you like I love yah
You're a good guy and that's what makes me trust yah
Late at night I talk tooo-oh you'.

And then I balled his shirt in my fist and pulled him closer to me. And he kissed me. Or I kissed him? I don't remember, but it didn't make a difference. I was his and he was mine in that moment. He went round to open the door for me. We started to walk towards my house and I really couldn't walk in a straight line. The world seemed so much more vibrant and colourful and suddenly began to sway. Ethan caught me just in time and swept me off of my feet. We arrived at my doorstep and I couldn't find my keys. Still secure in Ethan's arms, the door swung open.

The rest of what happened is still very fuzzy.