Heart of a SIN - FMA Envy Fanfic [Edited]

Chapter 17 - Comfort

Arisa pov:

Envy hadn't moved, he hadn't taken his glaring eyes off me as he sat there completely thrown off by my question. He seemed to contemplate a moment, think of what he should say so that what he had let slip earlier wouldn't be used against him.

"You...what the hell do you think you're trying to do?!" he barked.

Closing my eyes calmly, I answered, "I wanted to know the truth. You always act like you don't care, but I seem to see otherwise when I see you talking."

Opening my eyes, I kept them on the floor of the train's compartment. It was strange that Envy was silent so I raised my eyes to look at him only to find his expression even angrier than before, his jaw clenched tightly as well as his fists. I did not like the look he was giving me – it made me a little worried for what he would do to me.

"What did he say?" he seethed.

"Who are you talking about?" I asked with a frown.

"That Fullmetal b****** said something about me, didn't he? About Hohenheim!"

"He did mention Hohenheim but he didn't say anything related to you," I answered. Though Edward had hinted that Envy was Hohenheim's son when he was human, I didn't want to tell Envy that. The anger Edward had and the hurt and betrayal Envy expressed besides so much anger at the name had me feel sort of wary.

"That b******!" Envy hissed before lunging at me. His move was unexpected and I couldn't react before he grabbed me by the neck to slam me onto my back on the floor of the compartment. My eyes went wide and I tasted blood in my mouth as my stomach took the brunt of Envy's action. I coughed, grasping Envy's hand that was on my neck as I regained my breath and looked into his eyes. "That b****** resurrects me saying that I'm his most precious son and then throws me away like I was some failure! Then he goes and fathers two brats and considers them more important than me! I should have been in those brats' place! I was his most important person! I was supposed to be his first priority!"

His expression was one of pain besides anger. It made my eyes prickle for I recalled how I had been abandoned by my own parents when they found out that I could use alchemy. A million memories I had stuffed in an unattended corner of my mind seemed to rush out like papers flying because of an open window.

I remembered being so loved before, just like Envy, when I was my parents' most important person. But suddenly one day, I was thrown away like I wasn't wanted just because I had a power not known or seen by anyone else before. If I wasn't the type to bottle up my emotions, to be optimistic and cry myself to sleep in the darkness of the night instead of take out my anger on others, I was sure that I would have been the splitting image of Envy. I would have been jealous of other people I saw happy with their families and I would torment them so I wouldn't have an inferiority complex.

If I hadn't been taken in by Keith and Oba-san, I would have been just like the pained person I could see hovering over me with those livid yet lonely eyes.

"I will kill him! I will kill all those humans who are so happy! I will wipe those sick smiles off their faces! I will-" Envy gasped, falling silent when I lifted myself off the floor of the train despite the agony I felt in my stomach, to wrap my arms around Envy's neck in an embrace. It was an intuitive gesture that my heart had made me do.

My eyes were narrow as I stared at the ceiling of the train, my heart beating hard and fast and my chest clenching tightly in sudden uncertainty. For the first time in ten years, a tight, painful lump in my throat had me feeling queasy, my eyes continuing to burn from the tears of frustration that welled in them. The faces of my parents were vague, and so was their shunning, but how I had become a closed off shell to the rest of the world was crystal clear. I had lived with the same belief as Envy – I trusted no one, knowing that in the end I would only be betrayed.