How Do U Want It?

xii

I sat on the curb of the sidewalk with my legs stretched out on the pavement.

My fingers danced across the concrete as I awaited another patron.

When I met with Eazy about an hour ago, we didn't speak. I knew what the deal was, so I felt the need to stay silent.

He stood on the corner across from me, looking down at the pavement, kicking pebbles.

Things were awkward between us now. We weren't as close as we used to be.

Eazy just ... Changed.

Or was it me?

I missed him alot: the good times we've shared had a special place in my heart. I didn't know what I could do to fix our friendship.

Maybe this could be a sign, a sign that's telling me he's no good for me, and that he's a bad influence on me. Perhaps the decay in our relationship was for the better.

But that's something I didn't want to believe, nor think about.

"You ok?" I finally heard that infamous high pitched voice.

I nodded, laying my eyes on him for mere moments.

"We've been out here for an hour now, and no one has come. Maybe we should come back later." He suggested as he crossed the street, coming towards me.

"Ok." I pushed myself up off the pavement, and turned to begin walking home.

I didn't notice Eazy was behind me until I approached the house, and he came in the door behind me.

"Did you want something?" I turned to face him.

He shrugged, shook his head, and proceeded upstairs to do whatever.

I sat down on the couch, kicked my Vans off, hearing a thud erupt through the room. And I laid back, stretching out.

Closing my eyes, I started to relax, until I heard faint piano playing from upstairs.

I frowned, getting up to go upstairs to see what was he doing.

Pushing the door open to my bedroom, I saw no one other than Eazy and his fingers dancing across various keys on my keyboard.

"What are you doing?" I folded my arms and leaned against the door.

"You act like I'm not welcome in here no more." Eazy glanced up at me for a second.

"Its not that, I'm just - not used to this anymore."

"Used to what?"

"This."

A blanket of silence fell between us once he stopped playing my keyboard. It wasn't a awkward silence, it was a needed silence. A silence that was utilized for gathering our thoughts.

"I'm sorry." I heard a mumble from across the room.

I looked up at the man that I was once close with, and I said, "You don't gotta be."

"Come sitcho' ass down." He cracked a smile.

I slid next to him at the keyboard, and my eyes fell on the black and white tiles.

"You remember what I taught you?" Eazy stated, referring to the music.

I nodded and placed my hands accordingly.

The renowned song 'Happy Birthday' played correspondingly to my fingers moving.

A small smile grew on my face as the memories played in my head from when he first taught me this song.

"But Eazy," I stopped playing, "I been practicin' on my own. I even came up with my own melody, sorta."

"Play it then, youngin'."

Just then, I began to play a rhythmic tune that I was beginning to feel proud of, that is until I hit the wrong key over a few times.

After fucking up for the unteenth time, the music came to a cease.

I started to get annoyed with my mistakes.

"You always did act impulsively." Eazy commented.

"I'm surprised you know what that word means." I jabbed at him.

"I can be smart sometimes."

I laughed for a second before laying my eyes on the keys in front of me.

Starting at them for about ever, Eazy said, "Try it again."

The same melody erupted from the instruments speakers, which started of beautifully.

As I went on, my song was still rough around the edges.

"I can't -" I started my sentence but couldn't bring myself to finish it, due to my anger.

"Ebelle, you gon' get it. You can't get angry so fast. I even fuck up wit' this sometimes." Eazy encouraged.

I sighed. I wanted to impress Eazy. I wanted to make him happy.

By showing him my skills I thought I would've made him smile, I'm doing so much other than that.

"Okay," I breathed, "okay."

I don't know why I was going through all of this for a damn song.

Did Eazy really have that much of an impact on me?

I started playing my song slowly, slower, slow, then normally paced.

"You doin' great."

Eazy's words motivated me, I kept going, increasing my focus.

I don't know what it was. Whenever he praised me for doing something good, I fed off of it.

As I continued on, I noticed that I haven't hit the wrong key, it was greatly executed.

Once I finished, I turned to Eazy whom was flashing me a smile.

"Was it ok?" I questioned.

"It was more than okay," Eazy began, "it was dope. Beautiful."

I brought him into a hug. A hug that took me back to my 14th birthday, where we first talked.

That was almost 2 years ago, but it feels like a lifetime ago.

After what seemed like forever, Eazy said, "Can I say somethin'?"

I mumbled a, "Yes".

Eazy pulled away and cupped my jaw with his hands.

His cocoa brown eyes met with mine, and I started to question what was going on.

At this point, he looked like he regretted his decision.

"Eazy..?"

"I love you."