How Do U Want It?

xxiii

I sat in my bedroom on a calm Sunday afternoon, I rested on the cold hard wood floor; staring at the gun that laid in my hand.

I wasn't sure of how to feel at this point, I guess when you live too fast, things catch up to you. And it surely did for me.

The pistol was rather heavy, and it wasn't even loaded yet. I couldn't imagine the weight it'd take on once I insert the bullets. I obtained this gun from the one and only O-Dog. Who, unfortunately, was still up for his plan of killing Rizzoli and his son.

Today was the day, after a week of planning. I was horrified of what's to come later on.

A million thoughts ran through my head. Around the guys, I'd put on this hard exterior to show them that I wasn't scared. My feelings were eating me alive, and I didn't know how long I could put up with this charade.

My door swung open, startling me and causing me to panic. My eyes dashed to every corner in the room to find a hiding spot for the weapon that rested in my hands, but it was far too late. Footsteps treaded into my room, and stopped.

"Ebelle, what the fuck?"Eazy frowned and slowly came towards me. I was at a loss for words, and I just gave him a blank stare.

"It's not mine." I said apologetically. Eazy bent down on one knee and took the gun from me.

"Where'd you get this from?" He inspected it, eyeing every aspect.

"I found it." I tried to sound believable, I didn't need Eazy dipping into the truth.

Eazy looked at me for a few moments before shaking his head, "So you picking up random guns now?"

I just looked at him, I felt like my stomach was going to fall out of my butt. "Eazy, I was just ... curious." I continued to lie, I didn't want to get caught.

"Hm. Curious huh? Ight I bet." He said with a tone of disbelief in his voice. I refrained from making eye contact with Eazy, but I knew his eyes were nowhere but on me.

"Ima trust you to get rid of this, Ebelle. I can't have you goin' around here - I just, I just can't." Easy fumbled with his words before standing up and storming off, slamming my door shut.

I was really on edge now, no one knows how close I was to calling O-Dog and telling him I was out. My sanity wasn't worth anyone else's feelings, at this point, I didn't care if he were to get upset with me. He's crazy!

I heard someone else coming up the stairs, so I immediately hid the gun under my pillow on my bed. After successfully hiding it, my door once again was opened, but this time by Cube.

"Someone's at the door for you." He stood against my bedroom wall.

"Who is it?" I asked as I sat on the bed, acting as if I wasn't doing anything before.

"Tupac."

What?

I followed Cube back downstairs and he went to the basement, with the rest of the guys. I think they were playing cards or something, I don't know, I really didn't care. I approached the door, and pulled it open. The person I once loved stood there, and I had to admit, he looked rather cute right now. He started this thing with his hair, he grew it out, one side is higher than the other, and a little curve is cut in the middle of his head, separating the two parts at the beginning. I liked it.

"Hey." I said softly before stepping out on the porch with him.

"Hey." He simply greeted me.

A short silence came between us, before I said, "Did you um, did you need somethin'?" I tried not to sound rude, as I wasn't trying to be rude at all.