How Do U Want It?

xxix

"Are you telling me what I think you're telling me?"

Faith just found out about my relationship with Eazy, and disappointed was an understatement for how she currently felt. Her hazel eyes darkened as she stared at me in disbelief.

I stayed silent, indicating that it was true yes, I'm dating Eazy.

"Ebelle," Faith said sternly as she continued to rest her eyes on me. I slowly nodded, not sure or how to feel or what to say.

"You're 18, he's 26, what are you thinking about?" She groaned.

"But he loves me -"

Faith cut me off with a, "No, he doesn't!"

I just stayed there, quiet as ever. Was Faith correct? Did he really not love me?

"Look, I'm only telling you this because I'm your best friend. It'll be a cold day in hell before Eazy settles down saying he loves someone. I don't even be around him like that, and I know he's a ho." She ranted to me.

"But he told me he loved me! I made him wait 2 years to be with me!" I whined.

None of this made sense, why would Eazy tell me he loved me and he didn't? And if he lost his love for me while he waited, why didn't he just tell me? Was he that ruthless?

"You're tellin' me that he called up some chick, and went to her house to fuck. That don't sound like love to me." Faith folded her arms and got up to answer he door, which was knocked on twice already.

For the 10 seconds that she was gone, I was left to think about what she said. I was barely keeping my head above water in the pool of denial. And no one knew how close I was to drowning.

Faith reentered the room with Tupac following behind her looking like a lost puppy, "Hey Bella." He slightly waved before him and Faith took a seat on the floor.

"Hi," I said as I jumped back down to reality.

I hadn't seen Tupac as often as I used to. I didn't know why, but he just didn't come around as much. Since him and I graduated it seems like we split apart. The last time I saw him was on my birthday, we've only talked on the phone since then.

"So you gonna tell me about this Ice thing?" Faith asked. I had briefly mentioned it when I first came over, but now I really didn't want to talk about it around Pac. "Huh?" She said as I was hesitance with my response. I wonder if she knew something I didn't.

I spoke, "Okay you know how I said that he was saying that I was gonna snatch the crown, I was a strong worker, blah blah." Faith nodded while Tupac started to look interested."He jinxed it." I chewed on my bottom lip.

"What? How?" Faith asked. "He went to jail. We found another place to run the thing, cause the police would've came back. But other than that I guess I'm the top dog." I said, looking down and twisting my fingers.

Faith got quiet and she looked as if she was deeply thinking about something. Tupac came in with a, "This sounds dangerous, but if you ever need my help, I'm there. I promise." He gave me a small smile.

"Thanks."

Faith must've told Tupac what we were discussing before they came in here. He seemed awfully okay with it. I would've pointed it out, but I didn't want to pry.

"So what're you gonna do now?" Faith asked me as she drew invisible circles on her neon pink carpet.

"One of the guys that worked there, he found a new place. So we just go from there." I shrugged.

"Ebelle please be careful, you're not a minor anymore you're a grown woman. If you get caught, it's over." Faith huffed in an uneasy tone.

"I know," I reassured her.

We all were quiet for a second before I stood up and said, "Well I'm out, I guess." I pushed my foot into my shoes, lacing them right after.

"I'll call you," Tupac issued his farewell, earning a small smile from me.

"Me too girl," Faith giggled before waving.

I smiled at them both, going downstairs and letting myself out of the house. Really, I was on my way to my new throne; Renardo found a new place to make drops from.

He told me this about a week ago, and I was just now going. I guess you could say I was off to a pretty rocky start.

* * *

"You want blue? We gon' paint this blue." Renardo was jumping all over the new place. He discovered a former Chinese food restaurant.

Myself, Renardo, and a few others cleaned the place up. Now they insisted that I decorate it like Ice decorated the other place. His style was accented green, so mine was blue.

"Is this really necessary?" I chuckled a bit before pacing around the immensely spaced out room that would soon be my 'office'.

Renardo and my other friend, Cashy, laughed along with me. "Of course" Cashy chimed in, "And if we're bein' real, I like you betta than Ice. You not all murderous and shit."

The 3 of us couldn't help but laugh, I guess I was considered more laid back than Ice was. He was so uptight.

"No but foreal, this place gonna be fly next time you come here. I know you ready to start makin' bank again but you got a temporary hold." She continued to joke.

"I got you, C." We dapped eachother up, and I started making my way home.

I was hoping Eazy was there, so I could address the predicament at hand. He was never known to be a hot head when it came to me, so I was hoping he was in his sit down and listen mood.

But the problem was so contradicting - I was unsure of my true feelings for Eazy, but I was concerned about his feelings for me. Realistically, I needed to find out what my feelings were - but something told me they weren't authentic.

Upon arrival, a lump formed in my throat. Unlocking the door and stepping inside, I spotted only Yella and Dre having a loud conversation mixed with laughter.

"Eazy here?" This was my 4th time trying to get their attention; luckily they finally turned their heads.

"Nah, he went to go fuck with some girl," Yella said before taking a drink of his koolaid, which was really shocking compared to all the alcohol he consumes. But that was far from the current problem.

My heart was heavy, and the lump in my throat felt like rock.
I couldn't blame Yella, though. No one knew that we were kicking it.

Now if I did the shit that he was doing, I'd be wrong right?