Aftermath (An SVU Fanfiction) *EDITING*

That Makes Two of Us

They're in the park with Eli. He's playing on the slides while Olivia and Elliot swing back and forth on the swing set. They're laughing, having fun, enjoying everything life has to offer. Eli runs up to them and jumps in Liv's lap. Elliot gets up and pushes them on the swing. Its perfect, everything about this is perfect except..

Olivia wakes up next to Elliot. She's curled up in a ball, holding him. She rolls over and scoots further from him. She sniffles and wipes her tears. Elliot wakes up and hears her. He turns and pulls her into him.

"Hey..shh..its okay, Liv.", he kisses her head. "It's just a dream, its not real.", she cries even harder, knowing he's correct.

Will it ever be real again? Will she ever have that with him again? She gave him everything. She gave him her love, her life, her heart and soul and he threw it all away to sleep with a stranger. Does she really mean as much to him as he does to her? Does he love her as much as she loves him? Did he ever really love her?

•••••••

They wake up the next morning entangled together. For some reason, Olivia doesn't want to be angry with him, she wants to love him even though he doesn't love her. Olivia rubs Elliot's chest.

"El? Baby, wake up."

"Hmm?", he mutters. "Did she just say baby?", he thought.

"Wake up. You gotta get Eli to school at 8:00, its 7:30."

"Shit, okay.", he quickly gets up and dresses himself. "Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"When I get home..can we talk?"

"Um-"

"Mommy, mommy! I'm gonna be late! We have painting today!", Eli jumps up in Olivia's lap, kissing her 'good morning'.

"Daddy is taking you to school today."

"Why can't you do it?"

"Um, mommy isn't feeling so good. Her tummy hurts, so I can't go this morning.", he gives her a sad expression. "Go get dressed.", she ruffled his hair. "Yeah, we can talk when you get home.", she stands up and gives him a kiss. Dumbfound, he assists his son and then takes him to his school.

•••••••

"I know that you don't want to talk to me, or even look at me, but I need you to know how sorry I am. I made the biggest mistake of my life. I can never take that back-"

"Elliot, I don't care, okay? Can we just drop it?"

"You mean pretend like it never happened? Olivia-"

"I don't want to talk about it anymore..", she tugs at his shirt and bites her lip. "I want you. Just give me that.", she pleads. Sex isn't going to take this away and it won't make things better, but all she wants is to feel loved again.

"No, I won't take advantage."

"You can sleep with a stranger, but not your own wife?", she backs away from him. "Fuck you."

"Olivia-"

"NO, JUST STOP.", she cries. "I don't want your excuses!", she grabs her jacket and goes to the bar. Yes, the bar at 10:30am. What better place to go?

•••••••

"What have I done?", Olivia asks herself out loud as she pulls up her jeans and puts on her shoes.

"Leaving so soon?", the brown eyed man asks her. She didn't respond. She just grabbed her things and started booking it. She just wanted to go home. She never intended to do the very thing that is destroying her marriage.

She gets home and immediately showered. She can't stand the thought, the knowledge that she'd slept with another man and now? She's pacing back and forth in the bedroom wondering how the hell she's going to play this out. Tell him? Not tell him? Well, she better make up her mind quickly because the door just shut.

"Liv? Are you here?", Elliot calls. He goes into their bedroom and finds her just standing there. She's crying and breathing heavily. "What's wrong?"

"I-it's all my fault! I had-he wasn't you! I'm so sorry!", Elliot pulls her into his arms, whispering comforting things, under the impression that she's referring to the rape. "I had s-sex with someone who wasn't you!"

"Olivia, listen to me. That was not your fault! You know that."

"Yes it was!", she buries her face in the crook of his neck.

"No, baby. He raped you."

"No, no, no, no! I wanted it! I wasn't thinking, but I wanted it and I betrayed you!"

"Olivia-", he starts. Something completely switched inside Olivia's head. Her eyes went from a chocolate brow filled with sorrow to an angry black color.

"But you cheated, too! Now we're even! We're fucking even!", she pushes him away from her. "I don't even know why I felt bad for it because you. Started. It! And if you touch me again, I swear to god, I will shoot you!"

What is this sudden change in her behavior? Liv has never been violent, not like that. She's been head over heels for Elliot since day one, she's never once thought about harming him. She's also never been so angry and unstable before.

"Get the hell out!", she screams. He turns around and goes into the living room. He knew he needed to give her space, but how much? He's always been her shoulder to cry on, her best friend, her husband; and now he's just the dirt on her shoe, at least that's how he feels.

"What's wrong with you, Olivia? That's not you!", she thinks to herself. "You're such a bitch, why can't you do anything right? He'd be better off without you. Everyone would be better off.", she starts crying. She gets one of Elliot's belts, they're longer than hers, and starts knotting it. "Just do it already, you idiot! No one will miss you!", she puts it around her neck and starts stepping off the stool.

She hangs there in the closet, gasping for breath. "You've just done everyone a favor."