I slammed the door shut as I walked into the house, despite my trembling fingers I managed to fix myself a cup of coffee
"Why do I fuck everything up" I muttered to myself as I slammed my fist down onto the counter, I began to sob, as if losing all my energy I fell onto the floor in one large heap
Bringing my knees up to my chest I began to rock back and forth, the coffee machine dinged once signling that my coffee was done
Another ding was heard, a while later reminding me
"I fucking get it" I hissed as if the machine was a person or a living object that could hear my words
Standing up, I hastily grabbed the mug before chucking it at the wall, coffee splashing everywhere; with a loud crash the coffee mug broke into small pieces
"That... was my favorite mug, Gee" I heard a small voice squeak, turning around I saw Mikey staring at the coffee stain on the wall, hugging himself
"Don't call me that" I snapped causing a horrified look to form on Mikey's face
"But Gee, I alw-"
"Don't. Call. Me. That" I hissed once again before storming past Mikey into my room
I fell onto my bed crying quite loudly, have you ever cried so hard that you can actually be heard? Have you ever cried to the point that you no longer have any tears left so you're just left there, sitting in your own darkness, with no emotions left to give, you just want to end everything, nothing matters, nothing can help you or make you feel better in any way shape or form? Yeah, that's exactly how I'm feeling...
Getting up I walked out of my room back to the kitchen, it's been so long, so, so, so long, but I didn't care nothing mattered, not my sobriety, my health, nor my mental being
Raising the can to my lips I felt the all to familiar sting of the beers contents flow through my throat, but suddenly the can was knocked out of my grasp, shocked I turned to Mikey, who had a serious face on
"What the hell?!" I screamed, but Mikey didn't back down like he usually did
"Gerard, you can yell at me and boss me around, I don't care, but this? This is going to far, I'm not about to let you throw your life away like you did before, you were doing so good, yet you decide to throw your own pity party and throw all your hard worked for effort away? No I won't allow it, we both know that you hated those times and so I'm going to save you, like you've saved me" Mikey said his tone getting softer at the end
I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose, Mikey was right what the hell was I doing, I pulled Mikey into a hug
"I'm sorry, for everything, ill buy you a new mug I promise" I said as I pulled away
"Its fine, Gerard it really is" He said
"What I said earlier, you can ignore it, I know you always call me Gee, I just, it's been a really bad day" I said smiling just a tiny bit
"Holy shit" I heard a voice say, causing my heart to drop and my eyes to go wide
Mikey looked at the person then back to me before it dawned on him, he ran, unsure of what else to do
"Gerard" Frank slowly said, I remained with my back to him but lowered my head, I knew that if I looked at him I wouldn't be able to maintain my composure, I wasn't sure what to do or how to feel, let alone what to say
"G-get out F-frank" I managed to choke out
"Gerard wait let me explain" He pleaded I could tell he was on the verge of tears also, but as for me? I was already crying again, my chest heaved as I stared at the coffee soaked floor
