raucous rants

raucous ranting stories.

So, during my werewolf rant, I was searching for rejected-by-my-possessive-sexy-alpha-mate stories and I came across many. I was just scrolling on the What's Hot List and–bam. I'd say TEN out of TEN stories included something about a mate; TEN out of TEN included the guy love interest as an alpha; NINE of TEN had him banish/reject her; and EIGHT of TEN had him as possessive (in the title mostly, of course). 

Seriously?

Well, okay. I guess, but . . .

Did anyone tell you that when "I" is alone it is capitalized? Go ahead, gasp and call the media, but it's true. Did anyone tell you that the names of people are capitalized? Did anyone teach you grammar? I admit, when I was first introduced to writing I wrote like that too. But I was FIVE. These amazingly skilled people that deem themselves writers are that plus ten, and some claim to be eighteen, nineteen, twenty and above.

Like, wha?

I can't even.

Anyways, I take a chance and read this story. 

...

The story starts with a girl walking home from her shift and she's walking past an alley when she hears a man moan. Uh, you're walking past an alley at night, the scene for most eerie rape scenes in stories, and your first thought is ew, he's having sex out in the open like that? SMH.

Turns out a gang of people are beating his butt and when they see her they run off. They can beat a grown man to a pulp (guessing here because trust and believe I'm not reading on to find out) but they see a female and they run away? Alright.

There's one of her and five of you (four men and one woman #GIRLPOWERYO). Just saying.

Anyways, there might be a reason for this, but who knows?

So the main character takes her girl power to the next level by whipping out her cell-phone and dialing 911. Reasonable. Nothing wrong with that.  But, before she does that, he passes out. Her being a nurse and all, she knows that's bad news. Uh, hello? I'm not a nurse and I know if someone was just getting jumped and they fell down with blood coming out of their head – did I fail to mention that? I think I did – then that's bad news. Period.

But before he passes out and she dials 911, yet after he falls to the ground with blood coming out of his head, she asks him if he's alright. 

Oh yeah, I'm totally fine. I just have BLOOD RUSHING OUT OF MY FUCKING SKULL?!?!

Anyways, they touch and he whispers mate before slipping into unconscious, because why the fuck not state the obvious a paragraph into the story. I already took a super wild and lucky guess and presumed that he was going to be her mate, and I was correct. Like a boss.

But back to the whole mate-whispering-thing. Oh wow, there goes the mystery. Am I the only one who has stopped and thought to myself what the fuck, I'm so confused? I scroll down because there's a bewildering space inbetween. And, OMG. It's three months later!

Three fucking confusing months later.

And, thank you, I'm not the only one who is perplexed by now. Thank you.

I managed to spot one comment telling this author she needs to think about her plot. The others say they're confused, but that's about it. 

I'd like to apologize to the author, but would she even care? She has her fans, positive feedback, and she's on the What's Hot List. Why does she give a fuck about what some unpopular, bitchy wattpad user who has half the fans she has wants to say about her writing? That's a shame. All you have to do is have some hot guy, a weak female, and words typed on a page to make it on the What's Hot List.

Now, I'm sure you're thinking: If you hate Wattpad so much, why are you still on?

The answer is: I don't hate Wattpad. I just raise eyebrows at some of the stories.

But yeah, I'll apologize for my harshness, because I'm not a total bitch. I'm just fueled by anger in this rant book. However, someone needs to tell this girl how it is. Believe me, I'm anything but a brilliant writer, but I know my basics.

I was more confused reading this than annoyed. I don't even know what was going on.

ALL FLAMES WILL BE USED TO MAKE MY S'MORES THAT I WON'T SHARE! ALL PISSY COMMENTS WILL BE USED TO DUNK IN MY TOILET! ANY QUESTIONS THAT DON'T INVOLVE THE TWO?