Hi! I'm Millie! Well, you see, my parents have left to do crap and instead of sending me to live with my other family members, I'm going to live with these people who I have never met before. But it's okay, because my parents know them!!!! So, here I am!!! I walk to the door and knock. It opens to reveal this super gorgeous guy. Ooh, sexy sexy!
"Come in," he orders.
I squeal and rush in. OMG! There are like ten hot guys standing before me, looking at me like I was piece of fiiiiiiiiiine meat! Which I am and so are they!!! "Those are my brothers," the sexy guy who opened the door informs me.
"Yeah, and we want you, girl," they all say.
I giggle wildly. "Yay! Let us begin!"
Facepalm.
Okay, I lied. The bet stories aren't the ones I hate the most. These, by far, take the cake. I detest these stories. Despise them. Loathe them. Want to scream at my screen (and sometimes I do), because why not. I read one story where they were fifteen of these guys. Like, damn. Your parents must've really been trying for that girl . . . though I don't think all of them were brothers . . .
And, in that story, she ends up getting engaged to one of them. Okaaaay.
But who would leave their daughter in a house full of guys (aka the too-hot-to-handle brothers or the whoeverson-brothers or the who-the-fuck-cares brothers)? Umm, are you begging for her to get raped? My dad wouldn't even let me live with one guy, let alone twenty of 'em. And how come they all fall for her? Like, don't they have girlfriends? Lives? Crushes? Or are they so freaking desperate that they'll jump on one girl and sabotage their own family?
I can only wonder.
I'm pretty sure authors picture themselves as the girl in these stories. I'd bet my life on that.
Do these stories piss you off like they piss me off? I hope so. They don't make any sense. Who would have fifteen kids and, iron-freaking-ically, all of them are hot, sexy boys. And like 99.9999% of them attain a crush on this girl, who doesn't know what to do with these horde of boys chasing after her. If I was her, I'd get a r[a]pe whistle. Just saying.
GIRL, WHERE IS YOUR DAMN R[A]PE WHISTLE?!
I suppose my milkshake isn't the only one who brings the boys to the yard.
#INSIDEJOKE
Just stop. Only a complete idiot would send their virgin, supposedly drop-dead gorgeous daughter to live in a house full of horny, teenage boys. Am I wrong to feel this way?
what the hell? after all the swearing and stuff i did, as i was about to save this, wattpad said it'd be rated r just because i said ze 'r' word. ugh. suddenly i don't want it to be rated r. idk.
ALL FLAMES WILL BE USED TO MAKE MY S'MORES THAT I WON'T SHARE! ALL PISSY COMMENTS WILL BE USED TO DUNK IN MY TOILET! ANY QUESTIONS THAT DON'T INVOLVE THE TWO?
YOU ARE READING
raucous rants
Humordisclaimer: i wrote in this when i was 13 years old, so it will be unfunny, cringy, and outlandish. that's just who i am baby. you have been warned.
