50 Things I've kept a secret- Frerard

Oliver Sykes knows all.

A lot has been bothering me lately, everything I've done. And I guess it was thoughts that had me sitting here asking the bartender for my sixth refill. I haven't drank once since I started being open with him, but now I just can't help it. All the times I've done him wrong without him even knowing. I should really be locked up, I'm crazy. I'm really crazy.

"Have you gone mad?" A familiar voice asks while sitting next to me.

"Oliver." I smile. "Haven't seen you since..." I think. "Since you left for Paris." He answers for me.

"You've a bit to drink." He points out. "I haven't known of you drinking like this since you asked me to-" he doesn't want to say it and quite frankly I'm not in the mood to hear it. "So how's Gerard?" He asks making me greatful for the change of topic.

"He's good. My daughter lives with us now, and he knows half of the shit I've done." Oliver Sykes, the only other person who knows exactly what I've done.

"Does he know about M-"

"Don't say it. He doesn't know, I'll tell him I'm just waiting Oli." He nods.

"So enough about me. How have you been?" He smiles. "You know I've recently came out right?"

"No, so what you're gay?" He nods. "Yeah I'm with this great guy, Austin Carlile." I nod. "H Good for you."

"Yeah. We really need to catch up mate, it's been so long."

"Yeah it's been a while. How about coming over next week for dinner?"

"Maybe I'll come over after you sort everything out with your husband. However I am driving you home."

"Please." I mutter. "You know I can handle my alcohol."

"Sure, and you see, fine, but I'm just being responsible, go get in the car." He's careful to take the keys from me.

When I get home Gerard is eating a cheese burger and I smile to myself. "Hi baby." He smiles when I get his attention.

"Hi." He mutters mouth full of food. I giggle and sit next to him. "Chew slowly or you'll choke."

"I want to be choking on something right now." He says when he swallows. "We haven't been.. you know..."

I smile and he blushes. "You're adorable, but I'm really tired babe." I whisper.

"Oh." His smile fades. "Do you still want me?" He asks meaning sexually of course.

I kiss him. "I'll make it up to you babe. I want you so much." He smiles. "Okay Frankie. Go to bed, I'll join you in a bit. After I eat my cheese burger."

I walked upstairs and went to bed.

-Gerard's POV-

After Frankie walked away I quietly cried into my hands. I really wanted to please him tonight. I wanted to, I don't know I wanted to fix us. I feel like all we are anymore are these dumb secrets. I love him, I really do, but it's getting harder to forgive each time. His kept some serious shit from me.

I even wore a dress and makeup for him, hoping he'd be home right after he got done job hunting, but I smelt the overpower of alcohol on his breath. Was he trying to forget his guilt or me? Was he with someone? I've never been an untrusting person, but honestly I think I deserve to be worried and jealous.

I don't want to loose Frankie, he's mine. I sob quietly and fall asleep against the table.

-Frank's POV-

I waited and waited for him, but he never came, so I went downstairs to check on him. He was asleep. I smiled. He must've fell asleep eating his cheeseburger. I walked over to him to lift him up and when I did I saw his face was a mess of mascara. And he was wearing a slimming dress.

I sighed knowing I let him down. I kissed his belly softly and carried him upstairs and held him against my body. "My little baby." I whispered. "I'm sorry."