the photographer [c.h.]

nine

+Leah+

"Shit, shit, shit!" I heard a voice yell out in the hallway and I furrowed my eyebrows.

I got up from the bed, shoving my phone in my pocket, and walked to the door. I unlocked it and poked my head out, seeing Ashton crouching over Katie in the hallway. I rushed over and noticed him trying to wake her up. He kept rambling and I finally told him to shut up.

"What happened?" I wondered, motioning for him to pick her up. Ashton pulled Katie into his arms and I led him to my room, allowing him to lay her down.

"We were just coming out of the elevator and she passed out. I don't know." Ashton explained while I sat down on the other side of the bed. Someone knocked on the door and I went to open it, revealing Calum with furrowed eyebrows.

"Is she okay? I saw you guys come in here." He asked, barging in. If it weren't for the circumstances, I would have smiled at how much he cared for Katie.

"She passed out after we got back from the gym." Ashton sighed, running a hand down his face.

"Don't worry." I sighed, sitting down next to Ash, leaning into him. "It's happened before." My voice faltered and I felt tears sting my eyes. The only other time this happened was two years ago.

"Cal, can you watch her for a minute?" Ashton asked and Calum nodded.

Ashton grabbed my hand and lightly tugged me up from my position. My body was in auto-pilot as he led me out into the hallway, walking me to his room. He laid down on the bed and motioned for me to follow. I laid down, my head on his bare chest and he rubbed up and down my back.

"She's starving herself again." I finally whispered after a while and Ashton sighed. Tears came to my eyes and I tried to blink them away, not wanting to cry.

"You don't have to always be strong, Leah." Ash said quietly, looking down at me, and I sniffled, sitting up.

He tugged me into his lap after sitting up too and wrapped his strong arms around me. After a few minutes, I finally broke down. Sobs escaped my throat that have been built up for the last week and he just held me tighter to his body. I can't believe I didn't know that she wasn't eating. I thought I watched her every meal. I guess she threw it up after we left her alone. I cried into Ashton's chest and he pressed a kiss to my forehead, running his fingers through my hair to calm me down.

+Calum+

I watched as Katie's chest moved slowly up and down and a deep frown was set on her face. I reached over and grabbed her small hand in mine. I now noticed the tattoo on her wrist. It was and old timey camera and I smiled a little. She really does love what she does. Looking a little closer, I frowned, seeing faded pink lines underneath the black ink. She stirred a little and blinked her eyes open, immediately frowning and putting a hand to her head.

"Hey," I said quietly, cracking a smile. Katie sat up and pulled her knees to her chest, sighing.

"What happened?" She asked quietly.

"You fainted when you got off the elevator. Ashton and Leah brought you in here." I explained and she nodded, taking a deep breath.

I laid down on the bed next to her and she curled up against me. I tangled our legs together and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer. We sat in silence and after a while, the hotel room door opened. Leah and Ashton walked in and we sat up. Leah came over to the bed and grabbed Katie, taking her into the bathroom. I heard them raise their voices and it finally quieted down. I shot Ashton a look and he just shrugged.

+Katie+

"Why did you lie to me?" Leah demanded right as she shut the bathroom door. I kept my gaze on the ground and she let out a frustrated sigh. "Do you really want to end up how you did two years ago? In a fucking mental hospital? God, Katie, I can't go one day without worrying myself sick about you."

"I'm sorry, okay?" I replied, raising my voice. "I didn't think it got that bad."

"You thought wrong! You're lucky your dad isn't here because he would send you straight back to the rehab center." She yelled and I felt tears fill my eyes.

"Well why don't you send me? You seem to think you have some authority over me. I'm sorry that I hate my life so much and that it worries you. But, you are just going to have to deal with it. I have never once in my life been truly happy and that won't change. There is nothing that you or any damn therapist can do to change that. I guess I was just born to live a shitty life. I'm sorry." My voice broke and Leah's face fell. I closed my eyes momentarily and leaned against the wall.

"Show me your wrists." Leah said quietly and I looked up at her, tugging at my sleeves. "Katie."

"Please don't." My voice cracked again and I sniffled, a tear escaping and falling down my cheek. "I'm sorry." I broke down. I slid to the floor and cried into my knees as Leah sat down next to me. She hugged me and I looked to see her crying too.

"I'm weak. I can't even go a week without doing something to myself." I sobbed and curled into myself. "What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing is wrong with you, K." Leah sighed and I just hugged my legs, my cries not ceasing.  

"I don't know why I can't be happy."

I stumbled over my words and it felt like I couldn't breathe. My stomach began to churn and I lurched myself forward. I gripped the edge of the toilet and emptied my stomach. I coughed to make sure nothing else came up and let out a strangled breath. I leaned back against the wall and sniffled.

"I can't do this anymore." I whispered, catching Leah's gaze. "I don't want to be here."