the photographer [c.h.]

eighteen

"Katie, can you get the room service?" Leah yelled from the shower and I pulled myself off of the bed, walking to the door.

I swung it open and took the food from the woman, setting it inside. Out of my peripheral vision, I saw Calum's door open. A girl with long brown hair and booty shorts stepped out. Calum leaned his head out and she kissed him before walking away. I was frozen in my spot and I felt sick. He turned his head and his eyes widened upon seeing me.

I quickly went back inside and shut the door, leaning against the wall. I shook my head and went to the bed with my fruit cup. I began eating the food and watched some movie on the TV. Leah came out of the bathroom after a while in a towel and her hair in a bun. She smiled at me and grabbed her breakfast, sitting next to me.

"Where's Ashton?" I asked after a few minutes and Leah swallowed her bacon.

"He went to go pick up his brother and sister from the airport." I nodded and returned my attention to the TV. "They're gonna be with us for a couple weeks."

"Have you met them, yet?" I wondered and Leah nodded.

"Yeah, they're super sweet." Leah smiled. "Have you talked to Calum?"

"I saw him in the hall this morning." I said quietly and Leah frowned. "I really don't want to talk about it."

~~~~~~~~

"Katie, come here." I faked a smile for Leah and shook my head as her and Ashton danced around the stage.

"I'm gonna go get my camera."

I quickly got up and made my way off of the stage, to the dressing room. I found my bag and set it on a table, pulling out my camera case. I got the camera and turned it on, a picture of Calum immediately popping up. I took a deep breath and shut it off, jumping as someone tapped my shoulder. I turned around and rolled my eyes, making the move to walk away.

"Katie," Calum sighed and I shrugged him off. "I'm sorry."

"Leave me alone, Calum." I tried to get past him but he stopped me. "We weren't even together, it doesn't matter."

"She was a mistake."

"I shouldn't have let you in. That was the mistake." I shoved him away. "You know I thought you were different and that maybe you cared about me. I guess I was wrong."

I pushed past Calum and left the room, going back to the stage. I guess Leah saw my facial expression so she came over and hugged me. I sat back down on one of the equipment carts and scrolled through my phone. I debated on calling Peri to talk to Sophie again. I knew she wouldn't talk to me, though.

"Cause I'm gonna stand by you!" Leah shouted out lyrics as they played on the speakers. "Even if you can't find heaven, I'll walk through hell with you."

Her and Ashton tugged me up from my sitting position and they sang the lyrics to me. Off pitch, might I add. I couldn't help but laugh as Leah spun me around like a dancer and she smiled. Ashton grabbed my hands and walked me across the stage in a tango, making me laugh at how serious he looked.

"Ha! You smiled!" Ashton cheered as the song ended and Leah came over, slinging an arm across my shoulders.

"Wanna go get some ice cream?" Leah asked and I nodded, following her off the stage. 

We left the arena and walked down the streets of Miami, in search of an ice cream store. We finally found one and went inside, getting in line. I ordered and Leah refused to let me pay, making me roll my eyes. We sat down at a small table and ate in silence, me taking small bites. I wasn't really in the mood to eat but I didn't want Leah to worry. 

"How's everything with Ashton?" I asked, taking a bite of my coffee ice cream and Leah smiled a little. 

"Really good." She sheepishly looked down at her ice cream and I laughed at how shy she was being. "He wants me to go home with him over the break." 

"So y'all are really serious?" I wondered and she nodded. "Are you gonna go?"

"Yeah, I think. Unless you want me to come back with you." I shook my head. 

"Don't worry about me." I laughed and Leah frowned a little. "Leah, I don't want to hold you back. Ashton is important to you. I want you to be with him."

"I know, but I don't want you to go home alone. I mean, with Sophie and everything." Leah trailed off.

"Leah, I'll be fine. I have a couple months to figure out what I am going to do about Sophie. Worry about you and Ashton. Okay?" Leah hesitantly nodded and I frowned. 

This is why I hated being like I was. Ever since high school, Leah and Peri always worry about me. It makes me feel guilty because they barely live their own lives. They just worry about me and always have to know if I'm okay. God, I hate it. 

"Have you talked to Calum?" Leah wondered and I nodded. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah, I'm fine." I lied and took a bite of ice cream, moving the spoon around the cup. "I mean, we weren't even together. It doesn't matter." 

"Okay, everyone knows that you two were a thing. Don't hide your feelings. Calum hurt you and you shouldn't be so nonchalant about it." Leah exasperated and I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "I want to punch him in the face and I wasn't even with him." 

"No one is stopping you." I muttered and Leah laughed, lightly kicking my leg under the table. "I'm just confused." She cocked an eyebrow. "I mean, he has sex with me and then the next night goes and hooks up with a random girl." 

"I've known Calum for three years, K, and he has never been able to keep a girl. He's never had a girlfriend on tour but never slept around like the other guys. Now, I'm not defending him in any way, but I think that he just doesn't know how to have a relationship." I nodded, taking in Leah's words. Even though it made sense, I couldn't shake the sense of insecurity that I wasn't good enough.