the photographer [c.h.]

thirty-seven

"Sophie, c'mon we're gonna be late." I called up the stairs and went back to getting Travis ready.

Sophie came running down the stairs, her eyes glued to her phone, and we all walked out to the car. Travis got in the back seat and Sophie up front, kicking her feet up onto the dashboard. I sighed and pulled out of the driveway, not wanting to get into it today, and started driving to the elementary school.

"Mom?" I hummed, stopping at the stop light and looking in my rear view mirror at Travis. "Is dad gonna meet us there?"

"He'll be there right when you go on stage." I shot him a small smile and Travis smiled, showing his missing teeth, and slumped back in his seat.

We finally got to the school and I grabbed my purse, trying to get Travis in on time. Sophie went to go get seats and I took Travis to the backstage area, watching him run over to his friends. After making sure he was good, I went to the crowd and found Sophie sitting on her phone. I sat down next to her and she scooted over, crossing her arms over her chest.

"At least act excited." I joked and Sophie just rolled her eyes.

~~~~~~~~

"I'm going to bed." Sophie ran up the stairs and I sighed, setting my bag down.

Travis followed and I ran a hand through my hair, hearing him slam his bedroom door. I sat down at the kitchen table and buried my head in my hands, wanting to groan to myself. The front door quietly opened and I looked over to see Calum trying to step in without making a noise.

"How was your dinner meeting?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Why aren't you in bed?" He asked, coming over to the table and I got up, ready to go to bed.

"I was at a school play." I answered and Calum's face fell.

"Oh, fuck." Calum breathed out and I rolled my eyes.

"I'm going to bed. You might want to go talk to your son."

I left the kitchen and made my way up the stairs, going to the bedroom and shutting the door behind me. I turned the light on and grabbed a pair of leggings and a large tank top, walking to the bathroom to change. I washed my face and put my hair up, using the toilet before shutting the light off. I went back to the room and noticed Calum sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at the wall.

"What did Travis say?" I asked, putting my clothes in the laundry bin and Calum looked over at me.

"He locked his door." I sighed and walked over to the bed, standing in front of him.

"What's been going on? You missed Sophie's father daughter dance and now Travis's play. Every other night, Travis is asking where you are and why you won't tuck him in or read him a bedtime story." I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You think I don't know that?" Calum slightly raised his voice. "Okay, it's so hard to deal with all of this. I am always running to a soccer practice or taking one of them to a friends house. I mean, I can't even go out and get a drink with Michael without being interrupted to come put someone to bed or pick them up from something. I just can't do it."

"What do you mean, Calum?" I sighed, my tiredness beginning to take effect.

"I didn't ask for this." He motioned to the door and I raised an eyebrow in question. "I'm twenty eight years old with two kids, one that's not even mine. I'm so exhausted all the time and I can barely take care of myself, let alone kids."

"Don't you dare say you didn't ask for this." I stared him straight in the eye. "You were the one who wanted to have a baby the day we moved into this house. When Sophie called you dad, you told me you were okay with it. If you didn't ask for all of this, you shouldn't have married me."

"Maybe I shouldn't have done it, then."

I felt my face fall at his words so I grabbed my pillow, muttering that I was going to the guest bedroom. I shut the door behind me and walked to the guest bedroom, sitting down on the edge of the bed. I buried my head in my hands and laid back onto the bed, groaning to myself. I felt tears prick at my eyes so I sat back up, walking around to get all the pillows off the bed.

I sat them on the floor and climbed under the covers, hating how cold it was. Usually Calum would keep me warm at night but lately, he was barely home. I curled up around the comforter and took a deep breath, reaching over to turn the lamp off. I stared up at the ceiling and sighed to myself, throwing an arm over my face.

I don't know where all of this was coming from. Yes, Calum has been distant lately, but I never thought he would say something like that. To think that he didn't want the kids made me sick to my stomach. If he didn't want this, he could have broken up with me before we got married or before he met Sophie at least. God, this is so screwed up. I would never have thought that Calum would stoop that low.

After a while, I gave up on trying to sleep, knowing that it wouldn't happen any time soon due to the thoughts racing in my mind. I looked out the window and watched smoke wisp through the air every few seconds making me roll my eyes. Of course he's smoking. He's gonna kill himself from the amount of cigarettes he smokes. I shut my eyes and after some time, finally drifted to sleep.