Fifty Shades of Shoey

Chapter 25

Shane's POV:

"Shane?," I hear a small strained voice say. It sounds like the voice of a child whose cried for far too long. I suddenly feel awful for not grieving as much as she most likely did. It's my fault. I hurt her. I hurt the woman I cared for more than I cared for myself.
She opens the door wide enough to let me in. Corny is no where to be found, but I can't bring myself to ask Lisa where she is.
I act as if I don't notice the tears stained on her face, invading her rosy cheeks. She looks like she's been up all night, which she probably has.
What have I done?!
I've torn apart this girl's life, taken away everything she thought she knew.
I walk inside with her.
Despite everything, she is still just as beautiful as I remember her to be. Oh Lisa, I'm so sorry I couldn't love you back. This broken girl in front of me, all she ever wanted was to fix me. Instead, I broke her.
Her eyes don't glow the way they used to when she saw me. Instead, she looks achingly at me.
Her bottom lip quivers and trembles, much like my own.
She sits on the couch we used to snuggle together on. I sit directly across from her.
"I'm sorry," she blurts out when a tear drops from her sad eyes.
"No, I'm sorry," I reply and pause to find the right words. It takes a while of silence but I finally say it, "you shouldn't have fallen in love with me. I told you I'd screw up, I always do."
Her eyes begin to shine with tears and she pauses to regain her composure.
"Looking back it needed to happen," she says with a trembling voice, "it hurts but we were never going to stay together. We were bound to fall apart at some point."
"It was so good while it lasted, and I'm not gonna deny that sometimes I see something that reminds me of you and feel an empty space inside of me," I admit.
"He can fill that empty space. All good things must come to an end, right?," she asks with a strained smile, "only to be replaced by new things."
I'm surprised by how amazingly she's taking this. She's letting go of me, for my own happiness.
I feel a few tears fall down my face. I stay silent for fear of saying something I'd regret, for fear of going back to her.
"Can I ask you a question?," she asks quietly.
"Of course, I at least owe that to you."
"Did you love me?"
"With all my heart, I cherished you more than anything," I say.
"Why? Why did you love me?"
"Well," I pause, wishing not to say the wrong thing.
"I guess you just outshone everyone else," I safely answer.
"Then why are you leaving?," she asks, causing my heart to shatter for this broken girl.
I take a breath before answering.
"I guess someone else turned out to be brighter."
My voice cracks and I allow a few more tears to fall. I hate myself for what I did to her.
Without thinking, I get up and move closer to her. I hold her and let her cry into my chest. I try to hold back my own tears but fail.
"I'm so sorry, Lisa. I wish so badly that I didn't have to do this to you," I choke.
Several minutes go by of us just siting there, holding each other.
"Here, let me go get us some water," she says, finally getting up.
She walks to our- her kitchen while I wipe the tears away from my face and try to recollect my myself.
A few minutes later she comes back with two glasses full of water. I thought she would just bring us back some water bottles but I guess glasses work too.
"Thanks," I say, accepting the glass of water.
"Drink up," she tells me.
I take a chug of water to clear my hoarse throat.
"Shane, I love you so much," Lisa says. I drink more water to avoid replying and give myself more time to think about what to say. It has a strange taste of bitterness and is quite salty for a simple glass of water.
I put the glass of water down. Chugging so much made me a bit light headed.
"I love you too. I always will, you're like family," I respond. Lisa's face gets slightly blurry.
"So, you love him don't you?," Lisa asks, referring to Joey. She's enduring so much pain and it's all for my own sake. I love her for that.
"I do...," I let my voice trail off.
"I miss being yours," she mumbles under her breath. For her sake, I pretend I didn't hear her and act as if that didn't hurt so badly.
"I don't think there's any hope for me. Sometimes I just feel like giving up...," she begins, "but I'm glad you found someone that loves you back. I'm happy for you."
I die inside at those words.
I am the cause of all of this. My chest burns, how could I be so cruel?
"Lis... no, don't say that."
Love comes slow and it goes so fast. I wish I could feel the same way I did a few years ago but I simply can't force myself to or I'll never be happy, and I can't risk the happiness of the man I love most. Joey.
About fifteen minutes have passed and I've noticed my head ache increasing and myself becoming sleepy.
"I want you to love me like you do him," Lisa says, climbing on my lap. Oh god, what is she doing?! My arms fail me and I'm suddenly too weak to move or push her off of me. No, she can't be doing this to me. She wouldn't do this to me.
I'm consumed in dizziness, using all the strength I have left to plead her to stop. Her familiar lips touch my neck. I can't speak properly but I slur as best as I can.
"Lisa, please. Don't do this. Please stop," I beg before everything fades to black.

Question of the day: Did this chapter turn out the way you expected it to?