You Can't Choose Your Family ➸ Demi Lovato

{Chapter 32}

I was reluctantly made to say bye to Joel two films and almost six pizzas later (Demi, Joel and Wilmer had successfully gotten through them between them, I'd only had one piece). His mom had called saying it was late and his brother was eager to see him - as he'd come straight here from the airport earlier. She had however suggested that Joel and I could spend time together tomorrow instead of going to his brother's soccer game. Joel readily agreed which I found extremely flattering. Soccer is his big thing, he's the school captain and hoping to get a scholarship through it to college next year. The fact he'd put me before soccer made me feel inexplicably special.

The evening had been fun. Wilmer had surprised Demi by coming back from filming in Canada earlier than expected and turned up on the doorstep with a bouquet of flowers. It was so cute seeing Demi jump onto him, squealing like a five year old on Christmas Day. Their intense love for each other makes me smile. It's adorable. Completely and utterly, almost sickly adorable.

Wilmer helped us finish off the remainder of the excessive pizza whilst we continued watching Scream 3. Joel had pulled me into his side and Demi was snuggled on Wilmer's lap on the armchair across the room. Whilst absentmindedly looking over in their direction, my mind lost in the hope that one day I could be as happy as them, Wilmer caught me eye. I'd looked down embarrassed. I still felt somewhat awkward around him after the whole 'bust Dilmer' situation at Thanksgiving. I mean I've seen him naked whilst sleeping with my sister. Yes, it was dark and I practically saw nothing but still it's fucking weird. And Maddie had demanded to send it to my phone as a 'memoir' and apparently 'blackmail worthy material would come in handy'. Strange kid.

Then my thoughts wondered over to Maddie. At first, I'd gotten close to her but then she'd turned cold at the end of our stay. Much like Dianna had. But now I know Dianna was just apprehensive about Demi's idea to help me. She was concerned for her daughter's recovery, which I understood now even though it had hurt at the time. I'd readily forgiven her.

I'd thought at first that Maddie's bitterness may be connected but the dots don't join. It still confuses me and I honestly miss her friendship, however brief it was.

I gave up trying to come up with possible solutions to why Maddie had suddenly turned against me. There wasn't a logical answer.

I missed practically the whole of the second film as my mind was still focused on the whole Maddie situation. Yes, I'd thought about it before. A lot. I was seriously upset about it at first. Now I was just plain confused and seeing as I'm practically part of the family, I was bound to see her soon. I really wanted to avoid awkwardness.

I made a mental note to talk to Demi about it as soon as I had the chance.

Back to the present. I had let Joel out of the house and walked back to the living room. Wilmer was snoring loudly, obviously worn out from the long flight. Demi was picking the pizza boxes off the floor. I helped her carry them to the dumpster.

"I'm gonna head to bed." I yawned, walking over to hug her like I usually did before going up to my room. Then she'd always come in a bit later and kiss my forehead. It was a simple routine but it reassured me of Demi's love and commitment to my recovery. It made me feel reassured and safe.

Demi however crossed her arms, refusing to hug me. "Not yet," she gave me a semi stern look, "not until you explain what happened earlier." I furrowed my brow in confusion at what she was getting at.

"Joel and I-" I started, trying to clear Joel and I's name. Typical Demi thinking we'd done the naughty.

"I can hear all about your love life later," Demi interrupted, chuckling lightly, "I mean about your panic attack." Oh. I'd literally completely forgotten about that morning's event. "Mom said you hadn't really explained why it had happened?" Demi pressed, pushing for me to explain.

I sighed deeply. I'd rather just ignore it but I know the deal with me staying here is that I'd be open with Demi and talk with her. So I started to explain about ordering the clothes online and then worrying if the pants would fit, if they'd be too big again. Then getting all worked up about Demi thinking I was cheating with recovery and purging or whatever since I hadn't put on obvious amounts of weight.

"It was stupid I know," I sighed in annoyance at myself.

"It's not stupid," Demi looked into my eyes intensely, in an attempt to confirm what she was saying is true. "If the pants are too small, we can send them back. It's no big deal. I know you're eating better now and I have no reason to doubt that. I have no reason at all to be mad." She gave me a small, toothless smile. "Now come here you little munchkin." She pulled me into a comforting hug. I sunk into her arms gratefully, feeling immediately at ease. "You have fun with Joel tomorrow whilst I tie up the business side of the tour planning and then the day after we're going Christmas shopping with Dallas and Maddie. And then it's just a few days until Christmas Day!" Her tone displaying her child-like excitement for the holiday. I couldn't help but smile slightly. I would've smiled properly, the next few days did sound fun but the mention of Maddie got my mind working again.

"Demi?" I asked unsurely, feeling nervous to bring up the situation with her sister.

"Uh-huh," Demi mumbled into my hair as she still embraced me.

"Why does Maddie hate me?" I whispered,

"Why would you say that?" Demi pulled back from my hold, looking slightly confused.

"Because she was acting odd towards me at the end of Thanksgiving and I haven't spoken to her since. I think she's mad at me for something but I don't know what." I let out I sigh of relief for finally voicing my concerns.

"Oh. That." I saw Demi grimace slightly, "mom said she'd told Maddie to apologise. But I'm guessing she hasn't?"

I shook my head.

"I don't really know the complete story but mom said she misses me a lot. I miss her too and wish I could spend more time with her. Mom made it sound like she's," Demi paused, acting hesitant to continue, "kind of jealous that you get to live here and spend a lot more time with me than she does."

I immediately felt bad. Maddie felt like I was taking her sister away from her. I now completely understood why she was acting cold towards me. I would too if someone, making it worse that it was practically a stranger, suddenly came into my life and got all Demi's attention

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, guilty tears stinging my eyes.

"It's not your fault and Maddie knows that deep down." Demi reassured me, rubbing my upper arm gently, "I just think me going away on tour and taking you hasn't helped the situation. She won't see me for three months, where you'll be with me all the time..."

"Why doesn't she come too?" I said, "or I'll stay here. She shouldn't have to feel that way. I would feel horrible too if I was in her position. She can do online schooling with me and stop me from getting lonely-"

"Saski!" Demi interrupted my ramblings, "as much as I'd love for her to come too, I highly doubt mom would agree or it wouldn't work out."

"Please Demi," I pulled on her hand, "she'd love to and I'm certain we can talk Dianna into it." I practically begged.

"I'll think about it, okay?" She caved, "don't you dare mention it to her, I don't want to get her hopes up. I'm 99% sure it won't work."

"Thank you!" I pulled her into another hug, squeezing her tightly, "I'm going to go and prepare my persuasion speech for Dianna right now!" I turned, skipping out the room and towards the stairs.

I was determined to make this work. It just made so much sense. Maddie wouldn't be as jealous of me and therefore our friendship would be fixed. And I also wouldn't be lonely on tour. It just seemed like the perfect solution.

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