Guardian of Memories

Chapter 15

"Thank God you're awake! Now, how the hell do you put this on??" He questioned, holding up one of my bras.

What the hell is going on here???

"W-w-where did you get that?" I cried, trying to reach out to grab my bra. By trying I mean that I really did try, but my body didn't want to respond completely.

"You passed out in the bath, Faye," Kaneki replied.

"In the.... bath?" Another shiver ran down my spine. "Why am I so cold?" I looked down to find that I wasn't wearing anything on the top half of my body. I flushed a deep shade of red as I tried to cover myself up with my arms.

"No sense in trying to cover yourself up now." I looked up to see that he had looked away, a faint blush on his cheeks. "I've seen more than enough for that to do anything."

"What the hell you pervert!" I yelled, fully prepared to slap the living hell out of him. I stopped just short of impact when I saw him brace himself.

"I-I didn't do anything! I swear! I was just trying to help!"

Something in me broke. Why did his cries bring so much pain to me all of a sudden? It's not like I hesitated to hit him the last time he barged in when I had that spider incident...

I lowered my hand in defeat. That's right... I vowed to myself that I would never hit him like she did.. that I would never do anything to him that would make him say those words ever again.

"I.. I'm sorry.." I whispered, laying back down and turning my head away, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over.

"What?" He looked back at me. "Why are you apologizing?"

I stayed silent because I knew that if I talked, my voice would definitely crack. We both stayed silent for a moment more before he spoke again.

"It's my fault that I helped you like this.."

"No, it's not!" I said, clenching my teeth. A tear slipped down my cheek as I continued to raise my voice. "It's not your fault that you helped me, in any way!"

I stopped talking after that. I couldn't keep my voice strong enough for any more words. Kaneki suddenly lifted my chin and turned my face towards his.

"Why are you crying then?" My eyes met his, yet I was still unable to speak. "If what I did was in the wrong then you have every right to hit me."

"It's not that.." I sighed, squeezing my eyes shut to prevent more tears.

"Then what is it? Please, do it."

"No!"

"Hit me!" He yelled, causing me to flinch a little.

"I said no! Why the hell do you want me to hit you?"

"Because.. it let's me know that you're alright."

I opened my eyes in surprise. "Wha-what logic is that?"

He gave me a small smile. "The normal you wouldn't hesitate to slap me in this kind of situation. If you don't hit me, it means you're holding something back. And the normal you never held anything back from me. Or.. at least I don't want her to."

I laid there, thinking over his words. The normal me? "Maybe.. the normal me doesn't want to hit you."

"Why?" he asked. I tried to look away, but his hands kept me from doing so as he cupped my face. "What are you holding back? Why won't you take the opportunity to hit me when I'm practically begging you to?"