Once In A Lifetime (Katy Perry/John Mayer Fanfic)

Chapter Seventeen: A Loss For Words

"Good morning gorgeous," I heard John whisper into my ear, his breath tickling my skin, making me smile as I poured boiling water into the two mugs of coffee I'd prepared appropriately.

"Good morning," I smiled back, before turning around to face him, placing my hands on his toned arms as I leaned in to peck his lips, with John meeting me halfway and deepening it. I smiled into the kiss, the feeling of being in this kind of relationship making me feel happier than ever.

You shouldn't be happy. Remember what happened last night? How could you possibly be happy at a moment like this?

The thought made me retract back from the kiss, giving him a tight lipped smile half-worriedly as fear struck through my veins again. This past twenty minutes I'd been awake I'd somehow forgotten about it, well, pushed it to the back of my mind. I didn't want to accept that this was happening, and I wished so much for John's sake that this was only a dream.

But it wasn't.

I knew by the look on John's face he knew exactly what was going through my mind right now... I guess, because, he was doing the exact same thing, yet probably a thousand times worse.

I turned around, frightened that I was only going to make this situation worse by crying. That was the last thing John needed, was to worry about me. He needed to worry about himself, as much as he didn't want to. I felt his hands slide their way around my waist, resting on my stomach as his hair soon tickled my neck, before resting his head in the crook of my neck and shoulder, placing soft kisses on my skin.

"That shirt looks better on you than I could ever dream of," He said lightly, chuckling a little as I stirred the coffee mixture, making me laugh a tiny little bit, though I didn't really feel the slightest bit happy at the moment.

"Thanks for letting me borrow it," I smiled back, turning to him a little so I could kiss his lips before returning back to what I was doing, laying my head back and placing my hands on his across my stomach, letting out a sigh as his soft kisses on my neck relaxed me, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying every moment of it.

"Well thank you for staying with me last night, thank you for caring baby it really means a lot to me," He whispered into my ear, and I could hear the integrity and meaning through his voice, which only made me smile more as I relaxed into his touch.

"You need to stop thanking me for things that don't require thanking," I smiled back, shooting him a wink as I mocked what he told me a couple of weeks ago, and he clues onto that instantly as he chuckled, his long locks of hair tousling around his face, making him look more attractive than ever.

We spent so long just laying in each other's arms last night after our huge talk, not falling asleep but the both of us cuddling together in silence, worried about what we'd find out tomorrow - which was now today - the only comforting thing was his heartbeat under my hand, and I knew in that moment that I had to be there for him every step of the way, like he was for me.

But despite having a laugh with him this morning, the both of us really weren't in the mood to joke around... Or at least I wasn't.

"How are you smiling and pretending everything's okay right now? How do you do that? This is killing me and I'm not the one going through this," I sighed as I finally let the thoughts and paranoia take over, mixing the coffee mixture as I looked down, instantly regretting what I'd said. I didn't even have time to think about it before it flew out of my mouth.