Once In A Lifetime (Katy Perry/John Mayer Fanfic)

Chapter Thirty-Nine: A Paper Heart & Pencil Marks

I heard the footsteps hastily come closer and closer, and just as I reached the door of my Range Rover, I stopped in my tracks, letting out a deep breath as I heard their movements behind me now come to a halt.

"Just get in the car," I sighed, breaking the silence as I refused to look back at Katy though I knew it was her that was behind me. Her shaky breaths echoed in my ears as I felt her strong presence behind me, though I was too angry, too hurt to even look at her right now.

"John," She whispered feebly, her voice cracking as she cried though I continued to stare at the concrete ground in front of me.

"I said, just get in the car," I said once more through gritted teeth, frustrated with her in every way, shape and form possible. I heard her sigh before I heard footsteps on the pavement again, and I took that as my cue to get into my car. As I closed the door behind me, I watched Katy nervously climb into the passenger seat beside me through my pre-feral vision, no emotion visible on my face as I stared blankly ahead. She whimpered as she placed the seatbelt over her body, before I started the ignition and sped off towards the Hollywood Hills.

The drive was completely silent; and it was awkward. The tension between us was there, and it was very evident. I couldn't bring myself to even look at her, after what she's done to me. I felt so disgusted and so betrayed by her, for more reasons than one. Strangely enough, the fact she went crawling back to her ex effected me more than placing the blame on me for her bruises. It was almost as if I was willing to do anything it takes to protect her, despite the consequences for myself - but I couldn't handle her throwing my trust and my love around like that. Did she think it was all a stupid game?

I reluctantly pulled up to Katy's home, finally, amongst the Hollywood Hills. She sniffled before looking up, the both of us continuing to not say a word as I placed the car into park in her driveway.

"Go inside and get some clothes. Enough to last you a couple of days," I said bluntly and coldly as I looked ahead, waiting for her to get the signal, which she did. She slowly opened the door, slamming it behind her as she made her way inside. I watched as she walked, how terrible she looked right now as she wiped her cheeks dry of her tears. How she looked not even a mere glimpse like her usual self, how that happy contagious bubble she was always surrounded with had suddenly disappeared. Our lives had changed in a matter of 24 hours, and I hated that. But there wasn't a single thing I could do to change it, I just had to accept it and try to move on.

I let out a grunt as I forcibly pushed the top of my steering wheel as I sat in the car waiting for her to come back outside. I wanted to scream, or at the very least throw something. I just didn't know what to do, I was so fucking hurt by her yet I couldn't let her go, no matter what happened between us. This relationship had honestly been fucked from the start, and the both of us knew it. But there was an undeniable chemistry, a love too strong, that kept bringing us together. It was if somewhere in my mind, I knew she was the one I'd spend the rest of my life with. Though at this point, it was very doubtful. I don't think we'd last another hour together without getting into a fight.

I hung my head on the steering wheel as I inhaled and exhaled in efforts to calm myself down. I didn't want to yell or scream at her, as much as a part of me wanted to, I could never. I loved her too much, and that was the worst part. The feeling of being used for her selfish purposes kept flocking into my mind, at the same juxtaposition of knowing that this woman was broken. She was a fragile, broken bird. I knew that from the beginning... But I guess I just wanted her to eventually get better, not plummet further downward.

I pulled my head back as the sound of the door opening sounded, looking towards the opposite direction as I attempted to not display the tears which kept forming in my eyes, threatening to escape with each passing second. I wanted her to know I was angry and upset; not sad. I didn't need to look weak right now, I needed her to feel sorry. For once, I couldn't be the one apologising. What started out as a mere disagreement had now turned into something else entirely, and it was raw.