Once In A Lifetime (Katy Perry/John Mayer Fanfic)

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Ribbons Of Your Phobia

"Katy, babe! Take it easy," Shannon laughed as I struggled to walk down the main stairs of my home, a look of pain ridden across my face as I gracefully placed my feet, one by one, on each individual step. She quickly rushed over to me, placing the mugs of coffee she previously held in her hands down on the table in which my favourite vase lay. She gently placed a hand on my arm, and around my waist as she aided my walk down the stairs.

It was extremely difficult to do even the smallest of tasks, my body broken and fragile as a result of the car accident I'd gotten into - the person in the vehicle I collided into, in very much the same condition. It was horrible, and I hated it - but at least I was alive. I guess, anyway. Life wasn't exactly full of red roses right now.

I felt as if I'd broken every bone in my body - which kind of was the case anyway. I'd fractured both of my ribs, sprained a muscle in my lower back, twisted my left ankle, cut my head open - dangerously open - in fact, if it had been one centimetre closer to my skull, I wouldn't be alive. God was on my side, and though I wasn't exactly sure why yet - I was here for a reason.

You just have more to live for.

I used crutches to help me around the house, something definitely annoying. I hated using them; they were a pain in the ass. The accident made me realise how grateful I should be to have a working body, because now that it was fragile and damaged, I wished so badly to be healed again. I was homebound; under strict Doctor orders I wasn't allowed out of the house. In saying that, Shannon had been with me every moment since coming to the hospital in Montana. She slept for three days beside me in that bed, as she waited for me to be discharged. I was meant to stay much longer - but after much arguing and debating on Shannon's part, I was issued clearance to leave, going back to my home in Los Angeles. She'd been with me every single day since then - a total of fifteen days - caring for me. She was incredible and I honestly couldn't ask for a better friend in my life. The fact she could put up with my demanding ass in general was proof enough; she was an Angel - and I adored her.

In fact, it must've been God's calling that Shannon cared as much as she did - refusing to leave me alone for even the slightest second, much to my dismay - because that meant that my demons, my inner thoughts and harsh emotions, didn't have time to catch up. I wasn't alone long enough to truly delve into the deep depression typical of my being since my divorce. It was only in the night, when I would try to sleep - that the thoughts rolled in by huge waves. I'd come to gnawing at my thumb so much it was red, and raw - sore to touch. The tears had ceased, but this overwhelming feeling of sadness instead took its place.

I was doing my best to take initiative and distract myself, too, when I could. I was bored, so bored, at home - but the days off, under the generous eye of my manager Bradford - meant that I could finally relax, catching up on sleep and resting my body as much as possible before I was scheduled to go back to work. I'd taken to songwriting - it was my therapeutic form, something in which distracted me from the outside world. I'd worked, and worked on songs - so much my hand was constantly cramped and sore, but I kept going. I was on a roll; I was determined to not let this break up get the best of me. As much as I wanted to crawl into a depressive cave and never come out; the other half of me was assertive in my future. I had bright, beautiful plans for it - and though this was an awful bump in the road, I was sure I could still get there one day.

I took this time to really start working towards my fourth studio record - fourth, as Katy Perry - something I had suggested but never got around to thinking seriously about it. I'd had multiple calls with my team about it, and we'd all decided that it was happening. I was aiming for the fall of 2013 - which was exactly a year away. It was scary to even think about the concept of a new record, but it was also exciting. I knew, despite only 'working' on it for a few weeks, that this was going to be a totally different record - and a different Katy Perry. It was going to be raw, and truthful - an open journal, of sorts, with some fun, generic pop songs also in the mix.