Once In A Lifetime (Katy Perry/John Mayer Fanfic)

Chapter Fourty-Three: Forever & Always

February 28th, 2013

"Good morning," I whispered into Katy's ear, wrapping my arms around her waist from behind as I kissed her cheek as she prepared a smoothie. She didn't reply, instead placed her hands on my own and eased herself out of my grip. I sighed as she walked away from me, pretending like I wasn't there in the first place. Though I couldn't say I was surprised; she'd been acting like this for weeks. Ever since that doctors appointment. That's when everything fell apart.

"Katy..." I whispered, sighing as I combed my fingers through my hair in frustration. I didn't recognise her at this point - she wasn't acting like the woman I fell in love with at all anymore. It was almost like she was a stranger; like she'd rather not know me than engage in simplistic conversation. Fuck, I knew she was hurting but God damn it, I was too. She shut me out as if I was some regular person, someone not as close to her as I truly was. That hurt - a lot. Seeing the woman you love in so much pain, yet being pushed away when you try to help. She was at breaking point; as was I. I didn't know what to do or say to make things better, it seemed to be beyond anything of my control.

"Just go away, John," She said coldly, not looking back at me as I stood numbly behind her, wishing there was something I could do - praying that this wasn't where the relationship was headed. It was already fragile enough; a few more days of this nonsense wouldn't bring anything good, I was sure.

"I know you're hurting, but so am I, Katy," I sighed, trying to come to some kind of agreement. I know it was hard on her, of course I did. But it hurt me, also - my future was with her. Anything that came her way, came my way. We were in this together, I wasn't about to let her go through this alone.

"Oh really? And how are you hurting, huh? You're not the one who carries the baby are you? You can go and fuck whoever you want and have kids with anyone else. It's not your problem," She spat viciously as she gave me an evil eye, before rolling her eyes in a huff and almost running out of the room. I knew it would only infuriate her more so if I followed her, but I did anyway. We clearly needed to talk. Despite her hurt and her attitude, I knew I had to get over it in effort to find some answers. To make things better. She was defensive and often mean when she was hurting; it wasn't intentional, but it did effect me all the same. It was her own defensive mechanism, I'd learnt this from being together with her for so long now.

"It is my problem because you are going to be the mother of my children. I don't want anyone else Katy," I sighed, a little pissed off that she was constantly using the 'you can get with someone else' card on me, almost like she was throwing the whole Kelly incident back in my face. I hated how she did that; but I wasn't about to make this worse right now. If anything, the past couple of weeks had driven me completely crazy - it was almost as if I was living with a ghost. She'd be at the studio all crazy hours of the day and night, in effort to avoid me.

"Ugh," She grunted, rolling her eyes as she slopped her body onto the sofa, curling her legs under her as she sipped on a smoothie, refusing to look in my direction as I stood stupidly in the middle of the room, arms folded across my chest in hopes to get some answer. Frankly, I didn't think at this point I was going to get any. Katy was incredibly, incredibly stubborn at the best of times, especially when she was upset. She was high maintenance on the usual, and now it was on an even larger scale.

"Look, I know you're upset but you need to get it together, Katy. You can't keep doing this... You just can't keep shutting me out," I sighed, not wanting to make an argument out of this, hoping that my gentle assertiveness would ease her mind. But I was wrong - entirely wrong. She wanted nothing to do with me at this point.