Once In A Lifetime (Katy Perry/John Mayer Fanfic)

Chapter Forty-Five: See You At Three?

"Katy... I miss you too," He sighed, his voice sounding different - almost, sad - making me freeze as I listened to him. "So much..."

I sighed on my end as I perched my body delicately on the bed, still only wrapped in a sheer towel from the shower.

"What're we doing, John? Why are we doing this?" I asked, sadly, as I started to gnaw on my thumb nervously as I heard his breaths on the other end of the line.

"We're damned if we do, and damned if we don't," John sighed, to which I agreed. The entirety of our relationship had been nothing but an uphill battle to say the least. We couldn't win either way we looked at things; but I missed him. I missed us. Would he ever be willing to make this work again?

"Can we... Can we maybe meet up somewhere to talk about this?" I asked quietly, the nerves taking over as I awaited an answer. I knew it was a big ask; and I also knew I was pushing things. But I just needed clarity, at the end of the day, that was what I'd craved.

"Katy..." He sighed, his tone instantly telling me he really wasn't about to agree with me. He was hesitant, which I understood. But everything was so out in the open, and had been ever since we broke up. I couldn't face the unknown anymore - I needed to know whether it was worth the pain, or whether I needed to move on with my life. Honestly, this love I had for John felt bigger and more complicated than any other relationship I'd been in, and I doubted I would be able to move on in a decent amount of time. If things were truly over between us, forever, I think it would break me.

But it would break me more if I didn't at least try to clear things.

"Please, John. I just... I just need to see you again. I need closure. If you can't do it for me, please at least do this for yourself. And what we had. I know we both made mistakes but I just, I can't seem to forget about you so quickly," I sighed, my voice breaking a little as the familiar feeling of wanting to breakdown and sob overtook my body, though I fought it effectively.

There was a moment of silence as I held the phone close to my ear, biting my lip as I looked out the window, feeling worse. Why couldn't I just forget and move on? I felt as if I was being ridiculously clingy right now, especially when it had been some time since things had been called off. But didn't he at least feel something too? I mean... He called me, and said he missed me. Surely that meant something?

"Okay," He sighed back, sounding a little unsure about it but thankfully still agreeing, a goofy smile instantly forming on my lips which I was rather thankful he couldn't see. "I really don't think this is a good idea, but if it means that much to you..."

"Which it does," I continued, swallowing a lump that had formed in my throat as I looked out the window, admiring the clear blue skies adorning the gorgeous view I had from my home in the Hollywood Hills.

"Then, I guess we can meet up someplace," He continued, sounding a little more confident in himself now which was a thrill to me. I had no idea how things were going to go down, or what to expect. I knew I couldn't get my hopes up - that would be the worst thing to do. I was going to get closure; and that was only what I was going to receive. "Are you busy this afternoon?"

"I'm supposed to go into the studio to do some recording," I said, a little disappointed that I had already organised something. "But... But I can cancel."

"We can make it another time," He asked, though I was now sure I was going to bail on my studio session. Besides, I wasn't sure John would end up going through with things if we postponed it, added into the fact this was already driving me crazy. I couldn't wait anymore, I had to seize the chance while it was still hot.