Once In A Lifetime (Katy Perry/John Mayer Fanfic)

Chapter Six: A Smile Is Worth A Thousand Tears

KATYS POV

"So, before we start... Miss Perry, tell me about yourself," John asked, giving me a warm, welcoming smile as he sat down across from me at the booth in the private cornered area of the cafe. I smiled back as I nervously fiddled with my fingernails on my lap, slightly biting my lip as I thought about the answer to his question. I hated when people asked me this question, because I was always too scared I would come off completely different to who I really was. Fame often does that to a person.

"What do you want to know?" I asked back, leaving it more as an open question. I wasn't exactly sure why anyone would want to know about me... I wasn't interesting. I mean, I guess my career was... Katy Perry was. Katheryn Hudson was a completely different person. Often I'd have to separate the two to feel a sense of normalcy in my crazy, ridiculous lifestyle I'd planted my feet right in the middle of.

"Like..." He whispered, making me slightly giggle as he made a silly face towards me as I focused on him.

"Like why such a beautiful woman like you is so sad," He finished, looking at me sincerely. I instantly felt the blood rush to my face, my heart feeling like it had stopped beating altogether. Air didn't seem to find a way into my lungs; words seemed like the last thing I was capable of mouthing right now.

He had completely and utterly caught me by surprise with that, and I could tell he knew it too. There was no hiding - it was written all over my face. I felt guilty, though I didn't know why. We'd been friends for years, I guess, so it shouldn't be a problem to just tell him. I mean, that's if he didn't know already. My failed marriage was an absolute field day for the media - I'll never forget the five weeks of pure hell I faced coming back to Los Angeles after wrapping up the California Dreams tour back in January. The gossip, the rumours, the accusations, the hassle, the constant questions. Questions I didn't even know the answers to... And never would.

He studied me carefully as I continued stuttering, trying to find something, some excuse to come out of my mouth. I didn't want him to see me as a depressed, lifeless person. Fuck, was it really that obvious? My condition - was it deteriorating? I couldn't be sure.

All I knew, was that he had to be someone damn special to notice.

"Katy, relax," He said soothingly, reaching over and squeezing my hand lightly. The sudden contact of his skin on mine sent shivers through my body... But not of the bad kind. It was the good kind, an indescribable feeling of comfort and love. I felt protected by him; I felt like he really did care. It made me want to open up to him... But I didn't know if I could.

"It's just... It's a long story, John," I sighed, slightly begging for us not to continue, but part of me wanting to let it all out to him. He was a friend; I knew he would understand. He just wanted the best for me, I guess.

"Well, we have time," He smiled at me gently at the waiter placed two drinks on the table - both mugs of coffee - in front of the two of us. "I'm always here for you."

I smiled weakly up at him, wanting to tell him - but my mouth feeling as if it was stuck. Like I couldn't get my lips to open, or communicate words to come out of them.

"Well, I... I, I'm sure you would've seen it in the news..." I finally managed to stammer out, but I already knew the direction I was taking this conversation. I would brush over it lightly - I couldn't get in too deep. There were things only I could know, because I was truly ashamed of myself.