Uncovered

12. Solace (Unknown)

Isn't it stupid? Love, I mean. It sounds stupid; falling, falling, falling and hitting the cold hard ground - only to be hurt. Wounded.

Unrequited,
Love.

Stupid, awful, ridiculous.

It makes your world come crashing down. Your heart aggressively snatched out from the weak protection of the ribcage. Like a strand of string. Snap.

Realisation.

Its like a snap of a twig. It spontaneously clicks. Reality crashing down onto you.

She... She doesn't love me? Love, my beautiful, my gorgeous, my splendid love does not know me. She does not recognise me. And yet she is happy.

And if she is happy then why does my heart ache? Because I want to be the one who is the reason behind her smiles. Because I want to be the one who she thinks about day in and day out. I want to drive her crazy, the way in which she has driven me mad. I'm mentally unstable. I cannot fathom this.

And yet I am a wimp. A jerk. I am not a man enough. I am not enough for you. I cannot even bring myself to talk to you, to make you notice me. I want to see you, I want to see you... Fall in love with me, my beloved. I am most certainly going crazy in my love for you.

But what do I get back from you?

My heart shatters. I can feel my heart aching as if the tender muscles have gone weak. Reality is cruel; having to watch you fall in love with him.

I must be going crazy, I'm treating you as if you're dying. A part of me has died. And with it I buried you into the deepest, darkest corner of my soul. Buried alive.

I feel cruel, I find solace in nothing. I feel a rage, a beast growing bigger by the day. I think I dislike you. I think I might hate you.

Oh cruel, oh how sad is my life. Here I am whipped by a girl when I was merely 10 years old. Pathetic, aren't I? A creep might you say?

I shake my head softly and carry on sketching her beautiful brown eyes. In a dimly lit room, with pictures of her adorning the walls. My hand moves with precision and expertise. I've studied her like a book. I can get a phd studying about her. Is this what love makes you feel like? Like a leech just wanting to suck out all the information about her.

I lied, I'm good at lying, so good that I can convince myself anything. I don't dislike her, I don't even think I might hate her.

But what I don't understand is, how can Wasim do this? And to her out of all people? Wasim and Walid?

I jerk my head back as the door opens slightly, before a figure appears, closing the door behind him before leaning on it.

"You know what you need to do," he says with a lack of emotion. I roll my eyes, only because he cannot see me. Then I slightly turn my face toward him.

"Don't hurt her, and I'll do whatever you command," I say, with my teeth clenched.

"Oh Saleh you idiot. As your childhood bestfriend, I only want you to have what's good for you. This girl, she isn't good. For you I mean. She's the illegal drug to you, she'll damage you."

With my right hand I rub my sore left arm that was tied to the chair I was sat in. "Have you been in love?"

"You know I don't need love, it's pathetic," he hisses, "love is for weaklings."

"You don't understand, you never will do."

"I don't get what you see in her, she's weak, and damaged. She's dark and twisted. You can tell from the way she silently observes. She's dirt."

"You never know what you might find under that dirt." I whisper, "From dust were we created to dust we shall return. She is my solace."

I told you, I'm a good liar. So good that even I can convince myself a lie is actually the truth.

***

Heyyyy 🙃 i am so sorry for updating this late. Aren't I an awful human being? Anyways I hope you enjoy this short update. So please do vote and comment, I want to hear what you think of the story, I want to know if you don't like something, or what you guys want more of. Doo tell me! I'll try to update soon inshaAllah though. Eliza's life is pretty messed up though, right? Seems like Wasim and Walid have a connection to our shady unknown Saleh character.