destiny

the emotional

Josh
Im emotional
The first month i was on my meds every day is the same
Sleep til 12 pm
Eat lunch
Watch netflix or sleep
Cuddles w tyler

And now
i sleep all day
Hardly eat
Tylers never home, and when he is he smells of vodka and cigarettes
My mom hasnt been back since i yelled at her and tyler moved in. Me and ty dropped out of school
I didnt want him to but he told me he wanted to be there for me.
Good job on that one bud.
I've stopped taking my pills, and started up an old habbit. Cocaine. It sounds dramatic, but i can quit any time i want. Right? Ive done it before.
Im laying in bed thinking
Thinking that maybe being friends with tyler was a mistake. Maybe if we remained just friends we would be okay. Maybe if he had never seen my thighs then none of this would have happened. Maybe dropping out of school was the worst possible decision. But it's too late the damage is done.
I glide the razor blade over the glass table, forming a perfect line of coke.
It burns my nose a bit but im used to it.
I put a playlist on blast and dance around the house, my mind finally at ease.
Suddenly its like time stops and im so very sad.
I pull out my phone to call tyler
No answer
Im in tears as i leave 4 voice mails not even knowing what im saying.
I take out a bottle of rum and drink from the bottle hoping to forget everything in the morning
Or whenever i wake up.
Then its all black.
Tyler
I cant be around josh anymore with out feeling guilty.
So i stay with friends and drink. Drink a l o t.
And thats why im here sitting in a bar stool, underage mind you, dinking my livers away.
Girls occasionally come up and flirt but i push them off slurring something about having a boyfriend.
My phone rings
Josh
I put it on mute and return it to my pocket sipping my drink.
When i make it out of the bar i check my phone
Missed call: josh (4)
Oops
I listen to the messages
"H-hi tyller its ssa joshhh your boyfraaan nd i miss you lots an i "
Hes sobbing by the time hes done
"Im real s-sad nd youre not eve-r h-hoome and i jus--" he breaks into a fit of coughs choking on his tears "-im sorrr-ry for what-tever i did to make you distant"
"AnY way im tired and hungry but i don wan foood i don even know when i last ate? OhhHH wellp s-sor ry for callin when you don wanna talks"
"I a uh l-love yo-u tyler b-but i did somthin baaaaaadddddd "
Is he drunk??
Once again i didnt think about him
Just because you feel guilty you ignore your boyfriend?? Whilehiler hes unstable? Bravo tyler
°°°°°°°°
Was the bad thing drugs or????
Clif hangers are fun :D