destiny

help me

Tyler
I want to help josh
I really do and i dont want to be away from him but i really want him to be better
"Josh baby hey, i was i um do-"
He cuts me off
"You okay?"
"Yeah, i just wanted to know how youre doing"
He responds with a sigh
"Josh i think maybe you should get help?"
"Help? What do you mean."
"Like therapy or.. A hospital maybe"
"A hospital?? You want to ship me off to a loony bin?? You think im crazy?"
"No i just dont want you to hurt yourself anymore. I just really want you to get help, i want you to be happy"
"I am happy, mostly i just"
"I know, i know. But please? Ill go with you to tberapy if youd like. Unless you wanna do it on your own first"
"Yeah on my own first"
°°°
Josh sleeps most of the day.
I wake him up to bring him taco bell but thats the last ive seen him up.
I threw away all his razors.
Just in case.
Im watching some random documentary on butterflies before im interrupted by josh screaming my name.
I rush down the hall to his room
"Hey whats the matter babe"
Hes violently sobbing into his hands
"I-its s-stupid i h-had a dream that yo-- you were gone-e and i woke up and i couldnt f-find you and i thought it was real"
Hes crying into my shoulder now and im rubbing his back soothingly
"Shhh shhh dont worry im here im not going anywhere"
After he clams dont we stay like that and he falls asleep on me.
I lay him down on the bed and curl up next to him.
Im exhausted and i havent even done anything all day.
Soon sleep washes over me and the day is forgotten.
°°
The next few days are the same.
I wake up a 9, make breakfast in bed for Josh.
I make sure he eats all of it.
He will watch netflix for a few hours and maybe nap a little.
Then we go on a walk, when we get back from the walk i make lunch and then i run him a bath or make him shower.
He hardly talks anymore.
His cuts are mostly fadded exept the one in the middle of his thigh thats about a centimeter wide and sticks up, alomost like theres a caterpillar under his skin.
Today is different. I made an appointment with a therapist for an evaluation. So maybe he can get meds to help him.
I walk into what us now basically our room to wake him up
"Heeeyyy joshyy wake up cutie pie we're going somewhere ok?"
"Ok"
I pull him out of bed and sit as he gets dressed.
When we arrive at the therapist lets just say josh is N O T happy
He puts up a fight but i convince him to go in just this one time, for me.
We get a prescription to antidepressants and anxiety medicine.
I really hope these help him.