I Need U // Park Jimin

CHAPTER 5: The reality

-Melody's POV-
The nurse told me that I could go home, even though I still felt dizzy. Jimin gave me a hug and he went home, I don't want him to get tired out because of me. Me, dad and Danielle stayed behind for a bit more, to make sure I wasn't going to faint. I blankly sat on the white bed, holding a glass of water. We thanked the nurses and headed towards the car.

I can't believe what has happened over the last 5 hours. I didn't realise how life can fall apart in just a short matter of time. I don't know what I'm going to do without mum, or Tessa. I sighed. Did they ever do anything in life to deserve this?

There was silence the whole journey in the car, but we didn't have time to feel awkward. It was still 4 hours since the attack. I kept asking myself : Am I in a dream? However I knew it wasn't a dream. Mum was alive yesterday. Tessa was alive yesterday.

After a 1 hour journey, we arrived home.
Normally, our house would feel warm and welcoming but today it suddenly felt empty. No more mum means no more of her sweet scent, her warm hugs, sincere smile, or the smell of her cooking wafting into the room. I started to cry.
"I know. I know." Dad hugged me on the doorstep. He rubbed the back of my head.
I didn't care if anyone in the neighbourhood saw me.

Dad's hug didn't feel the same as mum's. And it never will.
"We're never going to see her again dad, what are we going to do?"
He wiped away my tears.
"she had a good life, your mum. We have to be strong. Remember that we have each other." Said dad, holding back his tears. He's so positive. His wife has just died! But I knew deep down, dad's heart was shattered. Whenever he appears to be strong he's just covering up the real feelings in him.

For dinner, we had cottage pie. Mum had made it last night. Is she really gone? I thought again. It echoed again and again in my head, tormenting me. No one was talking on the dinner table. It was just the sound of our forks clanging onto the glass plates.
The light was switched on, but it felt like I was in a pitch black room. As I ate my dinner, memories flooded into my head.

--Flashback--
-1 year ago-
"Happy birthday melody! We are so proud of you," mum said, dad's arm wrapped around her.
"Here is your surprise."
It was a big blue box, with a lid on top. There was something inside it that was moving. I squealed in excitement. Then, a cute black nose poked out.
"Oh my god!! It's a dog!!" I screamed out. I lifted the lid off, and there was a golden Labrador puppy inside the box.
"It's so cute..." I whispered, and I lifted up the puppy. It looked at me in the eyes, I couldn't help but cry.
"Is it a girl?" I asked.
"Yes, she is." Dad said. Mum and dad gave me a warm smile.
I hugged the puppy, kissed it and said : "I think I'll call her tessa."

--End of flashback--

I went to bed early at 9:00 pm. I changed into my pajamas, brushed my teeth and slipped into bed. I shivered. It was cold. I lay still, and thought about mum and tessa.
"Mum... Tessa...Why did you have to go..." I whispered, as I cried into my pillow.

Life is so unfair. Sometimes you wonder why this even needed to happen in the first place. It's worthless.

I hope Jimin's okay. I remember him saying that his brother got shot too. Hope we can talk about it someday, if he feels bothered by it.
I'm worried that I reminded him of that occurrence. He looked really upset in the hospital too.

But I'm so glad I have him as a best friend, I thought while I still cried. He's the kind of person who has had a lot of experience in life and can read your mind. That's why I didn't kill myself. Because he was there for me. He knows exactly how I feel, I can tell. But he has never really told me about his past. So I should return the favour by supporting him no matter what. It's not like I have to do it - I want to. After all he has done for me.

I really tired myself out by crying.
Slowly, I inhaled and exhaled to calm down. This method always works for me.
My eyes felt puffy, and they eventually closed as I drifted off to sleep.

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"Mum!" I shouted.
But she ignored me.
"Mum, why aren't you saying anything?"
Then, mum screamed. She was slowly disappearing.
"Mum!!!No!!!" I screamed.
she was gone.
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I gasped. Cold sweat trickled down my forehead.
That was a dream. Oh god, I'm going to have dreams like this everyday. I hugged my knees. I was shaking and panting. When I was young, I used to have nightmares nearly every week. For some reason my brain has a negative thinking. It creates nothing but haunting dreams.

I decided to go into the kitchen and got a cup of water. I tiptoed down the stairs, so I wouldn't wake dad up. I turned the heating on, because it was chilly. I took a cup out of a cupboard and poured water into it.

I didn't get to say good bye. I'm so upset. I don't think I'll ever get over this.