Karma ||H.S||

Chapter 29

The throbbing in my head wakes me and even though the light in the room is fairly dim, it forces me to shut my eyes the second they open. I don't want to be awake. It's way too early for that, after the late night I had. I shift to face Harry to snuggle into him and go back to sleep. 

It doesn't take long for me to realize through the pounding in my head, that I'm definitely not snuggling up with Harry. The object is far too squishy to be Harry, and I slowly open my eyes, to see that I am in fact, just holding onto the pillow his head was surely laying on last night.

He was here, wasn't he?

He was. There's no way in hell I could forget what happened between us.

He was so gentle with me, compared to what I'm used to. How he smoothly slid his hand over my breasts and down my body softly, as he kissed my neck. It was like he was savoring every moment, like he didn't want to rush what was happening, and made sure that I was okay with everything that he was thinking before doing anything I might disapprove of.

No words could describe how he made me feel. The way goosebumps rose on my skin with his need to touch my entire body. How I felt cold and hot all at the same time, in the best way imaginable. No one had ever cared enough to be so considerate of my feelings. I was so used to wanting situations like that to be over before they started. But with him, I didn't want it to end. I wanted him to stay close to me, to touch me for as long as he wanted, to make me feel good in ways no one else ever has before.

And although in the moment, he was pleasing me, it was more than obvious that he was enjoying himself just as much as I was. Like waiting for us to be that close, was worth everything that we went through to get there. The way his eyes fixated on mine, so seductively and more attractive than I've ever seen him before, made it all that much more pleasurable.

I allowed myself to be vulnerable. Exposed myself in ways I didn't think I would be able to again. He made me feel comfortable. Made it known that I was the only thing he was thinking about and he was very present in the moment.  He made it seem like I was his whole world, and he had the whole world at his fingertips. And I was his, more so than ever before, playing into the most inviting hands I'd ever known to exist.

What we did together was very small in the grand scheme of things, but the fact that I'm waking up alone, makes it feel much bigger than it actually is. Why, after not talking to each other for so long, would I let him touch me the way he did? I can't believe my stupid drunken self would allow this to happen. I mean, I know why I did, but now that he's disappeared, I'm kind of on the fence about it all.

I groan to myself, as the memories flow through me. Yes, I was drunk, but I was still very aware of everything going on. I wanted things to happen with Harry. That's very clear to me, because I know I would let him do it again if I had the chance.

Where is he? Why isn't he still sleeping, snuggled up to me, the way we fell asleep together? I don't want to regret what we did, knowing how long it's taken me to get comfortable enough to allow myself to be as close to someone as I was with him last night. I don't want to think it was a mistake. There has to be a reasonable explanation as to why he isn't here right now. I can't think of one, but I trust him enough to think that he has one. As much as I hate the feeling I'm stuck with, I wont allow it to take over me. I wont come to conclusions just yet.

I can hear the pitter patter of rain against the window as I get out of bed and make my way over to it to pull the blinds up, and seeing the gloominess of the day makes me wonder if it's some sort of cruel irony that the weather has decided to go along with the reality surrounding me. Just like the outside world looks abandoned in all its dreariness, the same feeling creeps inside of me, tugging at the strings of my heart.