Karma ||H.S||

Chapter 49

This is a double update, so make sure you read chapter 48 first!! xo

I sigh, wiping the few tears that have fallen in the midst of reading this letter, as I look out into the distance. I can tell that this was raw emotion. That her feelings are all over the place and she's feeling a little like me. Unsure of anything. Confused and back and forth. Either way, I can feel her honesty in the way that she wrote it. Maybe I need to trust her more. Maybe she really did tell me the truth. Maybe Jenny was the one who was lying.

I get up from my place on the driftwood, bottle in hand and walk back home. I feel like this letter should have made me want to talk to Paisley. Figure some shit out with her and talk like normal human beings and apologize for all I've said and what I've done. Because she's right, I did recreate our dates so that I could relive the past. Go back to a time when living life was like being in a dream. There are a lot more questions I have now. How did karma get her? What she wrote about it, has me intrigued. Something bad enough for her to want to keep it a secret, so much that she let it keep us apart.

Mom has dinner set on the table already. Her and Dad are already eating. When I walk into the dining room, I notice Paisley's book sitting on the table, along with a plate full of food at my place. I look between them before sliding the book across the table and taking it to the living room.

"Come and have dinner, Harry—"

I turn the tv on to drown her out and hope that she will leave me alone. Thankfully she stops talking when I sit down and set the book on my lap. For some reason, I'm having a hard time opening it, just staring at the cover in front of me. She said that looking at this book would make me realize that everything was real for her. And although I got that from the letter, I'm still afraid to look inside. Maybe it's because I turned on her, knowing that I shouldn't have. I did things wrong. I should have trusted her. I screwed everything up, and now I've lost her.

Breaking News on the tv takes me out of my thoughts, making me turn to it to watch. Pictures of four guys are on the screen and my body stiffens when I take it in. I recognize three of them from the day I ruined everything with Paisley. Two of them had kicked my ass. I try to focus on what's being said, but there's a ringing in my ears that makes it impossible to understand everything. When I hear the name Ryan, my heart starts to pound and I turn the volume up to hear the news caster explain something about their awaited trial and being held in custody for—abuse—rape—kidnapping—attempted murder.

I feel sick. My beloved Paisley. I know that she was one of those girls. I know in my broken heart, that this is what she was hiding. This is why she lied. No. I can't believe this. Memories of the day those guys kept telling me to stay away from her. That she belonged to Ryan. Remembering the first day I saw her, she talked to him on the phone. I'm not your play thing anymore. Go find someone else you can ruin. Christmas holidays when I saw her with her old 'friends.' They weren't really her friends. It makes sense why she wanted to get away so quickly. How could this have happened to her? She thought she deserved that life because of what she did to me?

I frantically press her number on my phone. I need to talk to her. I need to tell her I understand now. Her phone goes straight to voicemail and I feel myself start to panic trying her number again. Voicemail again. Now would be a good time to have her Dad's number. Why don't I have her Dad's number?

I run through the dining room, Paisley's book and the bottle in my hand, not caring to stop. I need to get to her. If she took the ferry right after I told her to go home, surely she'd be home by now. Why do I have to live on this island? Why is her phone off? Why is she so far away from me right now?

"Where are you going in such a rush?" Mom asks when I reach the front door.

"I'm going to find Paisley. I'll call you later, because I'm going over to Vancouver and don't know when I'll be home."