Your World

Afraid

It is the first day of April. The sun just rose and lightens the landscape in a golden shine. This is the time you get up. Very early you have to say, but there is a reason for it. Deep in your chest your heart is beating fast of excitement. You will see him again. You will see Justin fucking Bieber again. At five o’clock this afternoon he promised to pick you up because he decided you shall join his concert in Berlin, Germany. You got to bed very early the day before. You just wanted to be sure not to have any dark circles around your eyes.

With that thought you walk into the bathroom to check your face. Yes, it worked. No circles at all, but there were some weals around your face. Obviously you have had a hard night. But you do not remember at all. All you can think about right now is of course Justin. You smile into the mirror and make faces to relax your face. Then you feel a little better. But there is still this queasy feeling in your stomach which does not vanish at all. Maybe it’s because you haven’t eaten something, yet.  And you do not really wonder why your stomach aches that much. You haven’t eaten a lot yesterday because you thought you have to look perfect for Justin and thank god as you step on the scales you see you have lost 2 pounds. Full of joy you decide to shower up quickly.

Slowly you strip off your pyjama and open the door of the small shower. You enter it and turn on the radio. It is Bieber-hour on BBC Radio One. Can this day get any better? The warm water dabbles down on you. It makes you feeling free. Free from all the duties, free from all the stress caused by the school and by your parents, free from everything which turns you off and makes you feeling sad. In one of corners on a shelf there lies your shaver your mom bought you some months ago.

She wasn’t that shocked as you thought she would when you told her you needed one. Of course she asked you if you were sure because you are still young, but so what. All the other girls in your class are already shaving and in all the magazines your friends showed you that it is normal for a girl like you to shave the hair.

Well, so it was time again to shave. You put some of the shaving foam on your legs and armpits.  There was this warm feeling now caused by the tingling foam on your skin. “My Favorite Girl” has started playing meanwhile. Then you start shaving. A few minutes later you are done. Your legs are sleek again, so is the rest of your body.

After the shower session you stand in front of your closet to decide what to wear. A turtle or two may have died in the time you chose your outfit. Finally you wear a wonderful purple dress which lets your legs look a bit longer. Yes, Justin will for sure love this.

Yesterday you were talking to Justin again and you promised him to talk to your parents where you are going to go … at least this time. And you did tell them about your upcoming journey to Berlin. Because your grades have improved and you have behaved well the last days both your mom and dad agreed to your plans. Thus you packed your bag which now actually contains everything from your small closet. Also you did put your warning bell, some make up and things like that into it, too.

The time flew by like nothing and suddenly it is almost five o’clock. So this is it now. You take a deep breath and talk to yourself to calm down a bit.

You: “I am ready. I am confident … I am … anxious!”

Mom: “Oh, honey. What’s the matter? You look like you’ve seen the devil himself!”

You: “Is it so obvious?”

Mom: “Don’t worry, kid. I am sure with Justin you are in safety. He is observated by his bodyguard and there is nothing to worry about.”

You: “It’s not just that … I … I don’t know …”

Mom: “I will miss you, too, honey. It is really hard for me to say goodbye, even if it’s just for some days.”