a bunch of pll imagines and preferences...

58- big sister- Jason imagine- part 2

Part 2:

Words: 774

A/N: probably not as long as I would've liked, but it's long overdue <3

You've heard two completely different things over the last few years of your relationship with Jason. Every couple you meet tells you either story and nothing else. The first, was that the first year of marriage was the best year of marriage, ultimately meaning it goes downhill from there. And the second was that the first year of marriage was the hardest, as you had to settle in with one another and start planning your future, which meant it only got better.

For your marriage, it was both. The first half was the best, you had your honeymoon and had settled into a new house together and you loved spending time with Jason. However the more settled you became, the more you started thinking about what would happen next.

Your friends around you had started to get married as well, some moving on to the next stage, which was of course, having a family. You had always wanted kids of your own. When you were younger you and Hanna had dolls to play with, which you would look after. Hanna always wanted to play with your special dolls, who were more like children to you, but you would never let her, causing many arguments.

You decided it would be best if you discussed having kids with Jason, he had never mentioned it before, but there was no reason to, you both had so much going on in your lives.

You found him in your Livingroom, fixing an old dresser you had moved from your room in your old house to the new one.

"Jason I know you're busy but can we talk." You asked nicely, sitting on the sofa and patting the seat next to you, indicating that it was important so he should join you.

"Sure" he smiled, putting down the tools and sitting next to you.

"We're husband and wife now... and it only seems right that the next stage of our relationship is to have a family... how you feel about that?" you questioned, biting your lip anxiously as you waited for the response.

His face was blank, yet his eyes were darting back and forth like he was thinking deeply.

"Y/n... I don't want kids."

The words tore you apart, you had never thought that he wouldn't want kids. You assumed he asked you to marry him because this was the life he wanted.

"y-you don't want kids? Ever?" you choked out, and some tears made their way down your face. The Voices in your head were telling you your relationship was about to fall apart.

"no." he said, gently, wiping the tears from your eyes. He didn't want you to be upset, but he wasn't going to lie to you about what he wanted.

"Why not? Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"Would it have changed anything?" he asked back. You stayed silent, not because it definitely would have changed things, but because you honestly didn't know if it would have. "You know how messed up my family is. I don't want kids and I'm sorry. What if they turned out like Cece? What if they were as bad as Ali? What if they turned out messed up like me? There's too many things that can go wrong. I never had a father figure who cared about me, how I am meant to be a dad? What if something happens to one of our kids? Our whole lives we have been scared about someone hurting our families."

"But it'd different now Jason." You defended. "A is gone. We're married, we have a new house. Even Hanna is going to get married and have kids soon. You have no idea what you will be like as a father. So what if they turn out like Ali or like you, or even cece. You are amazing and there are things we can do to help. Plus if your upbringing had been different you wouldn't have started drinking."

"I just, I just don't know y/n." he sighed, rubbing his hand over his forehead.

"Well I don't know either Jason." You whispered, before standing up and walking out of the door. You knew there would be a way around this issue, but part of you wondered whether it would be the right thing to do. You loved Jason with all your heart, but you couldn't force him to have kids, and even if he agreed, what if he was never happy. Equally you wanted kids and didn't want to think about living your whole life never having them.

You needed some air, and hoped that one of you would change your minds.