a/n: unedited and messy
It's not quite a mystery.
I'm the one who's insecure,
you're the one that makes believe,
that we're all okay, we're doing fine,
when we're both fighting just to stay,
to stay alive,
a fragile state of mind,
that I can't quite survive.
Without a doubt, I need your help.
I know you've heard me ask before,
but come on girl, I need to tell you now,
I know what I've done wrong.
The only way out of here is the way I've avoided for all my life.
There's so many things I wanna say,
but there's too many things still in the way.
I'm lost, please help me find my place.
You're the only one, please lead me out of the dark.
Please lead me out of the dark.
Please lead me out of the dark.
I'm moving on, I'll promise change,
if you will let me in again, I swear today,
I'll be a better man.
I'll be who I was then.
It's been a long two years,
I can't change the past,
I've shed so many tears,
Can't believe I've lasted this long.
I see now that I'm wrong.
The only way out of here is the way I've avoided for all my life.
There's so many things I wanna say,
but there's too many things still in the way.
I'm lost, please help me find my place.
You're the only one, please lead me out of the dark.
Please lead me out of the dark.
.
"Kellen, you can't keep denying it. It's been a year since you last met, and you're still not over him. I don't know why you're being this way."
"Because I feel like I just bring him down. Like, yeah I still have some sort of feelings for him, but I don't want to make him sad again."
"That was when you were teenagers. You're both adults now, and you shouldn't be stuck on that still. Just get over it. I know it's difficult but you can do it. Meet with him while he's in town, go grab lunch or dinner, and just talk with him." Jimin said. "There's no way he's as bad as he was when we were younger."
The girl rolled her eyes and nodded. "Alright, fine. I'll call him and ask when he'll be in town."
Jimin smiled and poked her side. "Good girl. Now come on, Taehyung's actually coming to pick us up right now."
.
Jungkook stared at the girl sitting across from him. She had her hair curled messily, and mascara was the only form of makeup she wore. Still, Jungkook was in awe. He still found her as flawless and beautiful as when they were younger.
He slid his hand over to rest atop hers, and smiled softly. "Kellen, thank you for this. I know you don't really like meeting with me. Which is why I was pretty surprised at your sudden phone call." he laughed nervously.
Kellen smiled. "Ah, yeah." she breathed. "It's been a long time, I just wanted to catch up and see how you're doing."
"Oh, I'm great. Just working a lot recently."
An awkward silence filled the air around them, and it made Kellen feel rather uncomfortable.
"Kell-"
"Please don't tell me you miss me." she interrupted. "Not now. I wanted to talk to you about us, and if there could ever be an us again. I wanted to see if you were at least a little better, and-"
Jungkook laughed awkwardly. "I- uh, was actually gonna say that I need to get going soon."
For some reason, unknown to her, Kellen's heart broke a teeny bit. She tried to convince herself she didn't care. That there was plenty of other people she could be seeing. But she was so used to him fawning over her and following her around like a puppy, that it was weird for him to leave on his own.
"Oh...yeah, that's totally fine. Don't worry. I know you're busy." she said sharply.
Letting out a deep sigh, Jungkook stood up. "I'll text you my address and you can come over later or something. I really liked seeing you for the short amount of time that we were here. Don't be angry."
"I'm not." Kellen looked away as she spoke. "I mean, I only drove 30 minutes here for a five minute chat." she said sarcastically.
Jungkook ran a hand through his hair. "My world doesn't revolve around you anymore, Kellen. You can still come over whenever, but I have my own life now. Come over when you're ready to grow up and be serious with me." he pushed his chair in and grabbed his drink. "See you later."
And as he walked out of the shop, Kellen sat there in surprise. She knew what she was doing and what she was saying, but she didn't expect that reply from him. It hurt her more than she liked, but brushed it off. He was obviously a lot stronger mentally and physically from the last time they were really together. After the concert, it was so dark that she couldn't see him very well. And all he did was drop her off at her house in silence. So now that she really saw how much he changed she felt a little better about wanting to be with him.
.
A couple weeks after her "date" with Jungkook, Kellen decided to go to his house. She wanted to see him and she couldn't stop thinking about him. So she found the message with his address, and told Jimin that she'd be back that night.
Jungkook traveled a lot, but his house was only an hour from the city that Kellen stayed in. So she was unsure of whether or not he would be home that day. It was worth a try though. She was just hoping to see him.
And during her one hour drive, she thought about what she would say to him. A part of her wanted to turn back, but she knew that she had to face him. She knew that she had to let him know what she felt. Kellen was so tired of keeping herself from really loving him. It no longer mattered whether or not he hated himself. She loved him, and wanted to show him that she did.
.
a/n: surprise !! this is the last chapter thanks bye :)
