Hetalia One-Shots [NOT TAKING REQUESTS]

Germany x Reader

Uptown Funk in Your Junk (what)

Requested by niaoj1

The smell of pastries filled the air as more and more sounds of rustling came from the kitchen. Batter, sprinkles, and frosting was all over the counter top. Ludwig was humming to himself as he placed another batch of cupcakes in the oven. He did not realize that someone was watching him, and that someone was you.

You have lived with your boyfriend for a few years and you have never seen this side of him. Usually, you would see sugary sweets after you wake up from your long nap or whenever you get home from work/school. You always smiled at this because you never knew he could bake.

This was also a great opportunity to film him on camera while he is distracted. You pulled out your phone and clicked the record on your camera. He continued to bake, not knowing what you are truly up to. He began to sing some songs that you are way too familiar with.

"...Too hot, hot damn..." You had to cover your mouth to keep yourself from laughing and blowing your cover. He was way too adorable for that song, and it made him even hotter, actually. He began to dance to the rhythm of the song in his head and he kept singing. "I'm too hot, hot damn!" Wheezing now, this was too priceless. Before he could look at you or anything, you stopped recording and placed your phone back into your pocket.

"So," you started, casually, "this is how I see so many sweets." He jumped out of his skin and gave you a sharp look, a mixture of shock and disappointment.

"(Y/N)... how long have you been here?" You gave an evil smirk, which made him go pale. You walked over to him, swaying your hips. Once you got close to him, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him close to you, close enough to where your lips barely touched.

"Long enough for me to see that perfect ass to move to the beat of 'Uptown Funk.'" You whispered seductively to him. He blushed which made you chuckle. Letting go, you grabbed one of his pastries and ate it. Unexpectedly, he walked over to you and wrapped his arms around your waist. He leaned closer to your ear, where he huskily spoke to you.

"If you do not stop teasing me, I will have to uptown funk you up." A deep blush raided your cheeks as you set your pastry down.

"Someone is being naughty today." You smirked, still a little uncomfortable with his choice of words.

"Because someone came and ruined the surprise." He sassily replied.

"Oh, was it? Or what comes afterwards?" You wiggled your eyebrows at him. He breathed heavily. This was not good. He was going to make a move on you but the timer made a noise, signaling that his food was done baking in the over. Quickly, he took it out and turned the oven off. Once he did, he ripped the apron off him and proceeded to you.

"I would be careful of what you say, my dear." He huskily said as he picked you and attacked your neck. You gasped at this and wrapped your arms around his neck. He groaned and moved you both to the bedroom. He set you on the bed and roughly kiss you.

"You will be punished for this." He continued. You smiled seductively and rubbed against him.

~ Time skip brought to you by: McDonalds, featuring the McNasty ~

You woke up with a giddy feeling and a new sore down there. You turned your head to see his face beside you. You smiled and kissed his nose. He stirred and woke up. You smiled wider.

"How did my uptown funker do last night?" He chuckled and wrapped his arm around your waist.

"I think I did rather well. Though, I would go for round two, if you would like?"

"I'd like nothing more." And round two was underway.

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Oh wow. This is borderline what I am willing to write. Though, I do have to say, it has some sort of Fluff to it, AND LOOK! SATURDAY UPDATE BECAUSE I AM NOT BUSY WITH HOMEWORK TODAY LOL

But I do have some stuff to do so this is the only update until I get nothing to do. ._. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this! (pfft, of course you would! This is what fangirls love to read about)