What Ifs

1st Step To Forever

The moment when I went downstairs, after ko magbihis naabutan ko yung isang envelop na naiwang hawak ni Daddy kanina. It was on the center table. I was just looking at it for few moments now. Should I go?

With unexplainable feeling, I saw myself holding two invitations while on my way to BGC. Yes sa BGC ang punta ko, sa party ng pinsan ni Janette. While I was talking to Dad earlier, I realized one thing and that was I need to talk to Janette and fix everything.

Fortunately, there are no the traffic on my way there. It was only 6 in the evening though medyo madilim na. The invitation said that the start of the party would be at 8pm. I am too early, didn't I? But, I do it in porpuse. I have to tell her so many things and isa pa kailangan kong humabol sa....

"Tisoy?"

Napatingin na lang ako sa likod ko. I saw Janette, she's still beautiful as before. I walk towards her and the moment we went near, agad nya akong niyakap ng mahigpit.

"This is mean, you..."

"Can we talk?" agad kong sabi.

"Ha? Sure, tara sa loob?" Aya nya and she hold my hand.

We walked insde, wala pang tao sa loob bukod sa event organizers. Pumunta kami sa isang table na medyo hindi pansinin. I helped her to sit.

"Out of motif yung suot mo, dib nasa invitation to wear something pink?" natatawa nyangsabi.

Well, I was wearing a grey toxido with black long sleeve inside and if titignan, taliwas talaga ang suot ko sa lugar namin ngayon which is filled by pink stuffs.

"Janette, just like what I've said kanina, I want us to talk" seryoso kong sabi.

"Uhmm, about?"

"US"

"Ah yeah, about us, of course about us." Nakangiti nitong sabi.

"Janette I'm here to apologize and to fix everything between us" I nerviously said.

"Well, just like what I have told before pumunta ka lang ngayon kahit wala nang paliwanag, ok na tayo. Aayusin natin ang relasyong to. I'm willing to accept you again and be with you" She hold my hand.

Slowly, I remove my hand from her. In saw how shocked she was... I know, this is not what she's expecting.

"What... what is this Tisoy?" naguguluhan nyang tanong.

I awe so much to Janette. She took good care of me in times when I don't know how to stand by myself. From the short of time, she makes me really happy. She's one of the most wonderful gift that God has given me.

"Janette, I want you to know that I treasured every little thing you did for me, every effort you invest, I really do appriciate it. Janette, I know how much you love me and I want you to know that I do love you. I love you just like before" I said seriously.

"But, there is Nicomaine. Diba Richard?" She was just looking intently on my eyes. I can't help but to cry silently.

"I'm sorry" that was all I can say. I'm so damn sorry.

"You really love her, don't you?"

"I love her more than anything, I love her more than life itself." Napatungo na lang ako. Ayaw kong makitang masaktan yung mga taong walang ginawakundi mahalin ako.

"Then go and chase her"

Napatingin ako sa kanya, she was smiling even though I saw sadness in her eyes. I know for the fact that I am hurting her.