Can't Say Love

And She Will Be Loved

~Liam’s POV~

            Upon returning home, I gathered all of my clothes and put them into two suitcases.  Then, I packed my toiletries.  When I finished, all of my drawers were empty and the suitcases were overflowing.

            I hadn’t realized my fatigue until I sat down on my bed.  I kicked off my shoes and took off my pants.  Then, I slid under the covers clad only in a t-shirt and boxers.

            A persistent knocking woke me up in the middle of the night.  I glanced at the clock before rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.  What could anyone want at one in the morning?  The person was clearly impatient because their knocking continued as I tried to get out of bed.

            When I stumbled down the stairs, I heard the rain pounding on the roof.  I grumbled as I considered who it might be… probably one of the boys drunk again, or something. 

            He, for I assumed it was one of the boys, rang the doorbell incessantly.

            I opened the door and said, “What the hell do you want at…” My words stopped. I didn’t dare smile.

            She stood there, dripping wet, with her hair plastered to her forehead.  The water from her clothes created a mini puddle on my porch.  More water streamed down her face, and her mascara ran.  But all of that didn’t matter.  It didn’t matter because Daisy stood right in front of me.  And then she started to talk.

            “When I was three, I had a pink cake with sugared daisies on it for my birthday.  When I was four, I couldn’t sleep without a stuffed bunny named Fuzz.  When I was five, my favorite thing to wear was a light pink dress with a big white bow.  On my sixth birthday, Cam cried because the magician wouldn’t let her keep the flowers he had pulled out of his hat. That same year, I saw my mom beaten for the first time.  I didn’t understand why so many different men came home with her.  I was only seven then. Cam tried to teach me how to ride a bike when I was eight, but I fell off and scraped my knee.  She bandaged it up because everyone else was busy. 

            “My mom and I used to lie in the fields on the clear days and look up at the clouds.  She’d tell me that anything was possible, and if I doubted that, I could just look up. How else could castles and different animals be in the sky?  We could stay out there for hours, talking, and laughing.  Even now, I still look up when I want to feel better.”

            She continued to tell me her childhood memories…  She continued to talk about her past.

            “At the age of ten, I loved to read.  My mom didn’t want to spend money on books, so I spent almost all of my time at the library.  I still remember the smell of the old books, and sitting on the worn blue couch, curled up until closing time.  I did ballet for a year when I was eleven.  I wanted my parents to be proud of me.  I thought if was good at something, than they would be.  I was scared of the dark until I turned twelve years old.  Cam and I shared a room, and I made her keep the lights on at night.

            “When I was thirteen, Cam explained prostitution to me. I did it for the first time at age fourteen.  Cam made me go to the doctor with her that same year; She had gotten pregnant.  It was a miscarriage, and we’ve both been on birth control since then. It was always us against the world.  Cam and Daisy…  We made ourselves superheroes.  She taught me how to drive when I was fifteen.  We went to an empty parking lot, and she gave me directions.  Even so, I still crashed the car…

            “I fell in love when I was sixteen…  His name was Chris.  I couldn’t ever take him back to my house because of my mom, and he finally got tired of me pushing him away.  He left me for another person with a less haunting past.  Cam left me when I turned seventeen.  At eighteen, she was an optimist. She told me that she would call me up when she bought a place big enough for the two of us. I stayed with my mom…  She expected me to have sex with guys at least three times a week.

            “Later that year, Cam called me.  I picked up my bags and left without looking back.  I lived in London with her.  We were back together and even though money was tight, I loved living there.  Things went well for two or so years.  And then you happened.  I hated you at first…  Your love for Kelly was so pure and unscarred.  I didn’t know how I could fall for you.  Everything about you was so… good.  I didn’t know how to handle myself.

            “I guess that it was a great twist when I began to love you.  You were the only one that continued to stay with me, even though I refused to talk about my past.  And then we went to Rome.  I did make a wish at the Trevi fountain.  I wished that I you would love me back.  I couldn’t handle it when you left for Kelly.  I had to go somewhere, anywhere, else.  When you came after me, I almost broke down right there.

            “It took me half the plane ride to decide that it didn’t matter what anyone thought of me.  As long as I was with you, I’d be okay.  So, I told the pilot to turn the plane around.  And you can listen to this and then tell me that you can’t handle it.  I wouldn’t argue.  But I hope that you don’t because I still love you, and I’m still standing out in the middle of the pouring rain wishing that you could love me too.”

            I stayed silent for a minute before bringing her towards me, and kissing her with all of my might.  She wrapped her legs around my waist, kissing me back.  I didn’t care that I was getting wet. I didn’t care that tears were probably streaming down my face.  All I cared about was that I had the girl I loved in my arms, and that she was here to stay.

            Finally, I set her down before asking, “Do you want to come in?”

            “Yeah,” she said. “Yeah, I’d like that.”