7, 504 miles

01.01.2016

6.44

i feel like i'm going back in time and everything's repeating and its making me nervous but i'm happy.

i feel kind of like i'm stumbling when i walk and my grip is slipping and my mind is running and my fingers are typing all the wrong things.

i'm glad to have some people back in my life for 2016. people who i've said goodbye to in 2015.

absent minded.

i had a long conversation with someone about something that highly affected and ended our relationship and i think we're ready to start again and thats makes me feel really secure and stuff and he really means a lot to me.

6.53

everything is wrong by blonde redhead.

even though nothing is wrong. its just a good song.

it takes me so long to figure out what i want my caption to say. i don't want to be depicted as someone i am not. being a teenager is hard and shitty.

i love you so much that it hurts my head.

6.59

i like not caring about things because then you never get hurt.

7.20

i can't fucking think.

7.31

i feel so distracted. what the fuck?

8.39

ugh. i'm kind of homesick. and bored. homesick because i bored. i keep watching twenty one pilot interviews and i love them but they're making me bored and i'm not laughing that much which is good to do when i'm bored and homesick.

9.32

i just realized that its friday so my $400 will definitely not last me the entire weekend.

i'm three minutes into a shane video and he's like 'we're in taiwan, bitch' which is coincidental. alright well this is pointless information.

11.50

just facetimed my family for about an hour. it was nice, we all had turns talking about shit. my aunt is cool, she doesn't sugar coat things and get upset when i rant about things that piss me off.

i love my family. i have such an awesome fucking family.

12.06

i guess this should be a new day but fuck that, i'm not feeling it.

i'm off to go find someplace to sit so i can just loose myself in some sylvia plath and hangout in the dark.

i hate when people are walking behind me for some reason? i can't explain why so don't bother wondering why.

my roommate asked me out to go to the museum, which i'm actually walking past right now, tomorrow. i'm kind of content with that because i was going to ask her anyways.

i feel super weird just sitting down in a public place with public seats and public people at 12.10 and reading in hardly any light.

i wish i was in a relationship. not really because of anything except for having someone to talk to at all hours and someone to take me places and spend my time with and to have late night food runs and incredibly spontaneous sleepovers.

i don't know. i feel like an idiot saying that. get a fucken room.

don mclean has song a calming voice but it also makes me want to dance in a big group in the country side and play the banjo.

12.14

i can't fucking wait till i get home for so many reasons but mainly so i can totally fuck around and cut my hair to the typical kurt cobain length and temporarily dye it weird colours like blue-purple-pink and then red and i'll just look fucking burnt out and kickass and i'm so excited.

12.18

i keep seeing my shadow and freaking the fuck out. i don't know why it's creeping me out so much.

i tried to find kurt cobain quotes about love but i only got ones that my mom would have been upset about if they were used in my instagram bio. they were good though. none were really on love.

12.23

i'm leaving because theres a fucking gross spider and a squad of mosquitos.

12.31

i ended up walking around a little bit. took some photos and whatever. saw some wine bottles and some signs and stuff.

1.58

so i recently stumbled upon studio killers. i am in love with their music, oh my god. ode to the bouncer and jenny are so good. cherry is so adorable.