A Contact Book

Chapter Eighteen

Joe's PoV

How can she?

How can see sit there? 

How can she not acknowledge me?

How can she forget?

Forget the kiss?

How can she let the world go by without even thinking about it?

How can it be the only thing on my mind?

How?

She is sitting there, her little fingers intertwining with each other as she occasionally fiddles with her long brown hair. Zoning out I hear Harry ask a question, watching her Hazel eyes gaze into his, I feel a instant bit jealousy. It's killing me, watching her. Knowing she is not mine. 

And probably will never be.

I have to say Harry has not shut up about her since he first laid eyes on her. He goes on about how some picture of a little girl, which honestly just confuses me even more. How they have so much in common even though he has spoken to her what once? Now here she is less that 2 meters away from me and I can't seem to get a single word out of my fucking mouth.

" It's rude to stare and to have your mouth with open. Didn't you learn any manners?!" Maddie sarcastic voice said to ... to me? To me?

Memories come flashing back, to when I first found out about the drugs and everything. It still hadn't sunk in yet, how can something like that happen to my Maddie? 

"Joe? ... Joe" 

" Sorry?! Yea I'm here, I'm alive" I replied instantly without thinking first. The whole table burst out laughing, Maddie letting out a small giggle as she covered her mouth.

" So Mads, How is school so far?" I asked, trying to break the ice.

" Yea, it's good thanks. Trying to find my way around is proving to be difficult though." She replied, her voice was soft and calm.

" Well I---" 

And before I had time to but in, Harry took the words straight out of my mouth.

" Well I can be your tour guide if you want" Said Harry with a smug look on his face.

Maddie just looked at me and then broke the gaze and replied 

" Yes thanks, that would be lovely"

And with that Maddie was further away from me than ever before.

" Sorry, I'm going to have to love you and leave you guys " 

And with that she was gone.

What was I doing? I complain about how she's getting further and further away from me and here I was letting her do so. I can't do this anymore. 

I wont.

" Sorry, guys I have to go. Need to speak to ... to a teacher."

Getting up, I ran and sprinted, looking through out all the classrooms. Well as many as I could. Running through each corridor. With students shouting " Watch were your going". I ignore. Maddie is my focus. The only thing I care about. 

Running.

Panting.

Loosing hope.

Maybe this is a sign?

That me and Maddie should never be. 

Together.

I approach the sport field were people are sitting. Listening to music, reading, or just the general chatter. My eyes scan the whole field back and forth. Until I spot.

Her brown hair flowing in the wind. Head in her hands. 

I approach her.

" Maddie? "

She looks up, eyes red and swollen. Crying, she's been crying. Opening my arms, I offer a hug. Which I was sure she was going to refuse but to my surprise, she runs into them. Gripping on to me, not letting go. I hold her tight, standing there. 

Wondering

What the hell happened here?