oxymoron.

Chapter One

********A/N: PLEASE DO NOT SKIP THIS BECAUSE THEN YOU ARE AN OBNOXIOUS PERSON. I still love you though because you skipped this to read my words. I use songs as my inspiration so if you really want to get into the story and feel the characters' emotions then I suggest you click on the YouTube and listen to the song that is down there. Not there, yes there. I was even so kind to give you the author so yeah, enjoy. Oh and first chapter, PRETTY EXCITING! Who's excited? I know you are, winky face. HAVE A LOVELY WEDNESDAY AND I LOVE YOU. Without further ado....Chapter One. I'm outtie.***********************************                     

Ashes & Wine: A Fine Frenzy

Deafening silence. That was the perfect way to describe it. I ran my fingers through my long red hair, he blinked. Leaves fell. Everything was silent. He ran his fingers through his hair. He bit his lip, I bit mine. That’s when I knew. I knew I was wrong. My smile was fading. I read the signs wrong. Of course, I am so stupid. I should have known that he could never love me. I had just made myself the biggest fool on the earth. The damn silence was for too long. He didn’t love me. 

            “I have a girlfriend.”

             “I’m sorry,” was all I could say. I picked up my books and left my dignity as I walked away from his perfection. Tears stained my face, my head was down to avoid the stares.

He was gone. I was broken on my toddler size dorm bed. He was probably fine and with his girlfriend. My heart hurt to think of him, my head hurt to think of anything. I wanted him to feel my pain, but at the same time I love him too much to put him through that. There isn't even a slightest chance for us to ever be together, he could never change his mind.

I was hopelessly wallowing in self pity. I was drowning in my tears. I thought that it would be the end of the world. I was intoxicated by him, everything about him. His laugh, his looks, his witty comments, everything about him attracted me. He was everything. Niall was just so wonderful, he was imperfect perfection.

Maybe I was being immature and impulsive, but isn't that what teenagers in college do? Be impulsive?

I had enough of watching my ever so interesting ceiling, so I decided to walk to the campus library. Maybe I could throw my heartbreak into a book or get a head start on next week's homework.  I needed something to take my mind off of what could have been with Niall. Niall. My thoughts never strayed for too long from him.

Would there ever be a chance that he could ever love me? Probably not. I probably ruined our friendship. Maybe I should play it off like a joke and see what happens? I can't let him leave me. Who am I kidding, I made a fool of myself.

I made myself presentable and picked myself up enough to walk to the library. I was making myself sick over him. I lost him. He will never love me.

My mind went blank as I felt a finger tap my shoulder. I spun my head around to see some kid with tattoos who sat behind me in some of my Advanced Literature and Calculus classes. I didn't even know his name. I was too busy flirting, and learning, with Niall to pay attention to anyone else in that class.

Well, it wasn't really flirting, rather Niall would pass a note to me and I would respond while sheepishly tucking my hair behind my ear. Gosh I missed that. His little jokes, everything.

"Hi, um, your bag is open and your notebook fell out, I just wanted to return it to you." He said, his hand rubbed the back of his neck, showing his toned arms and half a tattoo on his arm.

I must admit, he was attractive, but my heart was still set on Niall. I nodded, taking the notebook and leaving. I must have looked like an idiot, but I wasn't interested in talking to anyone, only Niall. I was stupid to have walked away from him. But I would have rather died than have him see my tears.