oxymoron.

Chapter Seventeen

Nothing: The Script

Niall's POV

Maybe I'm better off without her, that's a lie, I can't get her out of my head. The way she ran to Louis, the way she looked at him, the way she kissed him, the way she cared for him. We could never have that, ever. I need to get my mind off of her. Zayn was throwing a party at his frat house, maybe I could go there tonight.

I sat the entire day in bed. I just relived my heart breaking as I replayed last night. Watching her through the glass window, crying for Louis and she was hurt, watching her face when she saw him. I said to myself at that moment that I would never hurt her like he did, but I guess I already did hurt her. I wish I had told her the truth that day when she told me she loved me. I should have told her I loved her too and Louis was going to kill me if I said otherwise. I should never have dated Olivia, she wasn't Elise.

I threw myself out of bed and dragged myself to the party. When I got there I smiled, pretending to be happy.. I hope they didn't notice me dying inside. I saw a flash of red hair and my heart leaped and I felt like crying, but it was some other girl who I didn't bother to get to know.

"Hey, Niall, maybe a few drinks will get her off your mind?" Zayn whispered as he passed me two beers. I downed them in seconds, he gave me two more.

I have a weak stomach for alcohol, "If I were to talk to her now I could change her mind, I swear to it, Zayn, I could. She would dump that jerk Louis in moments."

"Niall, we all know that she won't dump Lou for you," Jack said, I hated him, "She'd probably slam the door in your face. You're drunk."

"I'm not drunk," I said as I downed my fifth and sixth bottles, "I just need to know where we stand. I think I might have a chance."

"You're crazy, Niall," Jack laughed, he was laughing at me, I hated that jerk, "I'll tell you where you stand, you like her and she won't give you the time of day because she has a boyfriend."

"No listen to me," Seventh bottle, "I can turn her mind around, just trust me, it makes perfect sense. Zayn gimme another bottle. I'm out."

"Niall, calm down, you have been here an hour and that's like your eighth drink?" Zayn said, "Maybe you're better off without her."

"Seventh drink. I'm leaving, I gotta talk to her." I ignored their pleas for me to stay and I stumbled out of the party.

I stumbled down the road, it was a wonder how I could walk straight. Well, not totally straight, but it was good enough. Thank goodness no cars were coming, because I would be in trouble. My hands were shaking. The only thing I could hear was my own thoughts, otherwise I heard nothing. Even single one of my drunken steps brought me closer to her door. Her love was intoxicating.

It took me about two hours to get to her dorm because I was walking so slow. I glanced at my watch, it was about eleven o'clock, I think. Maybe if she sees how much I'm hurting without her, she will love me. I knocked on her door.

It took her seven agonizing minutes to open the door. She had on black glasses, I had no idea she wore glasses, and a big grey sweatshirt that said, "I just wanna dance with somebody," that somebody could be me, and black leggings. Her vibrant hair was much more browner, I liked it either way and it was down and wavy. I desperately wanted to run my fingers through it.

"Niall what are you doing here? Are you drunk, you reek of alcohol. Well then I guess that obviously means that you are drunk. But seriously, what are you doing here?"

"Elise, I think of you every minute of everyday. I know I'm drunk but everything I'm saying is true. I really care about you, I love you." I said, maybe I slurred it from my drunkenness. She was quiet and looked at the ground. She ran her fingers through her hair, "Well, not all at once." I said.

"Niall, I think you should go. I'll drive you if you want, considering you can't drive." Elise said turning to grab her keys.

"Wait, just tell me you feel the same way. Please." I said, I just wanted to hear her say the words I wanted to hear.

Nothing, she didn't say them, she just looked down and whispered, "I can't tell you that, Niall, I'm sorry."

And in silence she drove me to my dorm. I walked into my dorm and threw a picture of me and Olivia against the wall. I don't even no why I still had it. My roommate, Liam, wouldn't be back until the party was over. It gave me a couple of hours to wallow in self pity.

She didn't say anything. Nothing, not one word. Maybe my friends were right, I should have stayed at the party. I felt surprising sober considering my seven beers. Man, seven drinks too many. All I had was a splintering headache but I doubt it's from drinking.

I thought I could get her back. I thought I could win her over. I thought we could be together.

Maybe I was better off a quitter.